Friday, September 21, 2007

26...

I have a good friend who does a "grateful" list. He starts with the letter "A" and goes through the alphabet. I love this idea -- but I've enough lists in my life.....so....without further ado....here is my interpretation (thank you, kien).
I am grateful for.....

All my friends
Because even when I’m acting
Crazy, they seem willing to
Do whatever is needed to
Ensure my wellbeing.

For an infinite
God that reveals
Himself to the finite me in a way that
I can understand, even though He knows
Jayne will constantly question.


Knowing that being alone is not always
Lonely. And that
Meaningful relationships are a
Necessity
Of Life.






Promises kept
Queries answered, illusions maintained,

Revealed or
Shattered.

Truth and honesty, so often
Unusual and uncommon, becoming
Visible to the naked
World.
Xciting?
Yes. Thank you, Lord, a
Zillion times, Amen

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Feeling a little green...

Vocal chords are a bust (again)--so I am being silent (again, as much as possible).

But who better than Kermie to turn my greens into lovely colors?

"I've heard it too many times to ignore it,
there's something that I'm s'pose to be..."

I. Still. Love. This. Song.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Happily Insane

I received this in an email.....and can't help but add my comments(purple), and pass it on..

Subject:
How to Keep a Healthy Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.this would be fun to do from a motorcycle. Kowboi? Do ya' still have one?


2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
...err....I have actually done this one.


4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it 'In'. When I worked in an office, I put referred to the garbage can as "The Round File." When the boss asked for something that I couldn't find, I would say, "It must be in the Round File." I don't know if he ever caught on...

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Smuggling Diamonds'. I once wrote,"For really great sex!" I was sure I would hear from the bank or I.R.S.

7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. Eddie Izzard said (and I agree) that wars would be almost impossible if we required soldiers to skip instead of march...

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. Hey! They asked me once if it was for here or to go. I said,"Here, of course!"

12. Sing Along At The Opera. Yeah, right. Like I know Italian.....I usually launch into the chorus of "The Lonely Goatherd."

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because
You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. I'd rather use my Superhero name: Flame Glider or Wind Pirate.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' At the atm down from Starline I screamed, "Jackpot!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' heheheheheheh.....

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' I only have one....and she doesn't believe me when I tell her that I'm going to adopt Romanian babies. But my mom had a good one: when we used to threaten to run away she would respond, "Don't bother. I'll go."

Gotta love my Mom,eh?

:)


Saturday, September 08, 2007

Sometimes Carma just bites....

bad,bad, kfarmer...... I thought we were friends.....buds......that you would do this to me-- "Do what, APj?" Yes,yes, I can hear that sweet,blonde,southern drawl --all sugary and syrupy.... But....I KNOW it was you...

YOU put Murphy on a plane:

3:10 PM
You'd think that as often as he stays, I'd have heard the snicker from the peanut gallery at the back of my classroom Friday afternoon. "I've got to go!" I inform my computer, which was refusing to power down without updating. "I'm driving to S.F. to see Superman Steve's show."

3:30 PM
I rose triumphantly as the computer finally went to sleep,but somehow, Murphy got into the phone lines.
::ring! ring!::
"This is Ms.Day"
"This is Mr. Bebopaloo Lou, you have my son Bebop Jr. in your class....."
Suffice to say, that Bebop Sr. did not believe that Bebop Jr. (and Murphy,of course) was anything other than angelic in class.

3:45 PM
I make a mad dash to the car, and inform Steve that I am on my way. Steve informs me that Murphy has shot down his attempted manipulations of matchmaking. Starting to suspect that Murphy is loitering somewhere, I peel out of the parking lot, northbound!

4:20 PM
somewhere south of Merced
"Okay, if traffic stays like this, I should be okay. It'll be close, but I'll be okay," I reassure the steering wheel, "Ha! Murphy thought he could--"

::note to audience and self: Never directly challenge Murphy. It pisses him off. Kinda like saying, "Candyman" three times in the dark to the bathroom mirror::

"Shit!" I scream and swerve at the same time. "WTF!?!?!? Looks like someone lost a toolbox on the freeway. Yeah, yeah, NOW we all slow down...." So we putz along for a bit....I call Steve and tell him about the slowdown--but STILL feeling okay.....until.....

4:23 PM(ish)
thumpthump.....thumpthump....
shit.
flatfuckingtireomigawdwhatthefuckdoIdonowshitdamn
Ifuckingdontbelievemyfuckingluckwhatisnextadamntree!?!?

4:30 PM
I call Steve to let him know the score:
APj:zero Murphy: Ten

4:45 PM
Tire off,spare on. Kinda like wax on, wax off. Only a whole lot more elbow grease, Mr.Miasayki.
4:50 PM
Lugs all tight, putting tire with bigass nail in the trunk.
"Hey miss?" offers a businesslookingman from his airconditioned Lexus, "can I call someone for you?"

"Nope. Done. But can you give my friend Murphy a ride? He's going west. Due west"

Steve, sorry I didn't make the show. But I'm sure Murphy would have blown something.....really...

Thursday, September 06, 2007




Thanks, Joy, for letting me know how/where to find out
What type of Fae are you?

Okay.....I am SO-O-O-O okay with being called a Nymph that I will overlook any insinuations of my manipulative
hey-did you ever notice that "man" is in that word?
--manipulative side.

and geez....tie ONE guy up ONE time and ya' get saddled
(heh-heh, that's a nice picture)
with that whole "possessive" handle...

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

A Very Difficult Day

I teach Language Arts, 7th grade.

I always love my job....but some days are tougher than others.

Many of my kids come from a pretty rough background -- often, our school, my classroom, is their "safe" spot. I know this. But some days I'm socked in the jaw with it.

This is how one of my students spent her weekend: crawling out a bedroom window and frantically dialing 9-1-1. Mom had been afraid that something like this was going to happen. She had her brother come stay with them because she was afraid. She had gotten a restraining order because-- yes, she was afraid.
My student will not be coming back to my class, because the only family left does not live in Fresno. She and her siblings are without a mom and an uncle.

Dear God,
Sometimes I forget how difficult and scary many of my kids have it--until something like this happens. Theirs' can be a hard, brutal world. Please hold them close in your hand.
Amen

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Hot Handyman Needed!

See, I've yet to find a fix-it project that I won't at least try to tackle: build horse stall. check. Install metal roofing on said stall. check. Chop down trees. check. Fix sprinklers. check. Install ceiling fan. check. Install new light fixtures. double check. So it shoulda been no big deal to re-wire three outlet plugs, a switch, and a light fixture in my spare bedroom, right?
Ha. A week and a half later, and I still couldn't figure out why all the plugs and the light worked in the bedroom, but the bathroom was dark, and the microwave was asleep. WHO THE FRICK DID THE WIRING ON THIS PLACE!?!?!?!? So....I had to bite the bullet (does not taste like chicken), and call a professional:
"Jim!"
"Jayne"
"Jim! I need you! A wire has gone askew, and I don't know what to do"
"I'll be there in the morning...."

Easy fix- wire not in far enough......
'nuff said.....

Jim made the suggestion that I give up on looking for a cabana boy, and find me a hot studly carpenter. I found one:




Carter, from the TV show,"Trading Spaces."

I don't think there would be any wire problems there.....

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

"Ya' gotta have a passion for what you do"



The pic's are from one of my favorite jumps with Sean. That is APj in the red helmet and Sean was on my right.

"No matter what your passion is...."
This is a motto that is near and dear to my heart. I want to share a story about a friend of mine that lives by this creed.


I remember how much he loved flying planes-even way back then. We thought he was nuts -- and we jumped outta planes! Almost every week, we got a private airshow when he left the drop zone: low buzz jobs, hammerhead stalls, and some other moves I don't remember the names of.

"How did a stunt pilot end up skydiving?" you ask. Interesting story. As I remember it, (mild disclaimer if necessary for legal reasons or otherwise), it went something like this: Sean wanted to fly his plane at an airshow. The airshow organizer had some other stunt pilot lined up: a guy that could do "x" (I don't remember the exact number) of flat spins. Sean's response was that he could do "x+1." At some point,while attempting to do this never-done-before-number of flat spins, Sean had to exit his plane.

Yes.....exit his plane, as in, oops, and use his emergency parachute (something he had never done before). After his safe landing on Mother Earth (although his plane did not have a happy landing), Sean journeyed to visit the packer of his parachute, Ray Ferrell. Ray, who could sell water to a fish or sand to a camel, convinced Sean to come skydive for fun....

The outdoor channel is doing a special on Sean, his team, Team Oracle, and a dream plane. Watch it if you can. This is a man who continues to have a passion for everything he does.

Monday, August 27, 2007

300 - Its raining men. Amen.

I'm gonna go out.
I'm gonna let myself get:
Absolutely soaking wet...

Yeah,yeah, total eye candy....
So....can anyone point me in the direction of Sparta?

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Alas, poor toy, I knew thee well....

Dear Toys R Us,

I am so sorry to be returning my Oh-Baby-Baby-Youscream/Iscream, deluxe remote control version. I know it it not your policy to refund any money, but I am hoping you will make an exception. You see, my mojo has been....slow-mo'd.

My friends, Superman Steve sent me a link to a chap he thought I would be interested in. "You have so much in common: divorce, going back to school as an adult, religion, cowboy hats...." Being a little leary, err, leery of the whole internet dating thing, I went and looked.

And almost immediately the Youscream function malfunctioned. Or perhaps I just couldn't hear it over my own cries for help..... (OMG, but WTF is that tattoo on his very pale-white-dark-hairy-chest!?!?!?!)

After composing myself, I informed Superman Steve that this match was less then satisfactory, and requested a new match. One that wasn't quite so pale.....so complacent.....so talkative. "Never fear," reassured Steve. Within days, he had another match for me. "And," he enthused, "this time you have a choice! There are four to pick from!"

Sadly, even the Iscream function no longer works....

I hope you will reconsider your refund policy on this occassion.

Sincerely,
the no-longer-screaming
AirplaneJayne

p.s. If any of your employees would like to replace Superman Steve as my dating guru, a position is available.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

I've got friends.....

dacount

A few weeks ago, my friend Lore and her kids came and spent a weekend with me. A late evening ended with this stroll down skydiving memory lane....

When Claire and I started skydiving, there were not many women skydivers. In fact, after we started, the female population on the drop zone tripled. To three: myself, Claire, and Lore. Yup, Alaska may be the place to move to find single men, but the drop zone was a whole lot closer! Lore, with over 200 skydives at the time, was a Sky Goddess. She drove a cute little Fiat with personalized plates (Im Lore), had a killer smile, danced like a fiend, and skydived like a bird. If she wasn't so nice, you'd almost have to hate her.
But I didn't. And I couldn't. In fact, my surviving "THE ACCIDENT" is in large part due to her resilience:
She came to see me after the surgery. I remember talking to her, and having difficulty breathing - it was as if I had run a race. Like I somehow couldn't get enough air in my lungs. I kept dozing off, which I blamed on the anesthetic wearing off. Lore left during one of these naps. She says that something seemed wrong--she couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she stopped at the nurses station, voiced her concern and asked them to check on me. They assured her that it was only the effects of the anesthetic, and that the Doctor would be making rounds in an hour or so. Lore headed for the elevators.
And stopped.
Returned to the nurses station, and insisted that someone go and check on her friend right then. Pretty gutsy for a 21-year old, eh?
With much attitude, a nurse came to check on me.
I remember she cussed when she saw me, hit the call button, and all hell broke loose.
I had developed a pulmonary embolism-- the gunky stuff in the middle of my femur had migrated to my lungs, filling my lungs with goober and fluids -- which all really wanted to have a party in my heart. Good party, but deadly.

Ya' know those cool Doctor shows on TV? Where the patient is wheeled down a hallway and you see the fluorescent lights flash by on the ceiling? The ones where some handsome doctor says, "We've got to intubate her!" and he does it easily to the unconscious patient?
Well, 2 out of 4......yes to lights and handsome. But it was three trips down the throat of a totally conscious and terrified Airplane Jayne.
Blah, blah, blah, if you want to know more about that story, go here -- but my point is, thank God Lore stood up to the staff. The other night, she was remembering how she felt that they felt she was wasting their time -- and she almost felt the same.

Thank you, Lore. I still say, "You saved my life."

This Da Count is for friends who stand up for you, even when others disagree.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Garou - Belle (live, in 3 languages!)

This is a song from the musical "Notre-Dame de Paris." The lyrics and his voice just about melt me.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

APj has gone to the movies...and the store

Most of you know that I love to go to the movies. Some of you have had the pleasure (I think) of going to the movies with me....and a rare few of you know the best deal at the snack bar...

In addition to the Wizard of Oz (best alltime choice), some of my faves are:
The Dark Crystal


One of the first video's that Erynn saw. I think she was only 3-4 yrs old the first time (I know, I know, "Bad Mommy") -and she strode around the house making Mystic and Skekzie sounds.

Labrinyth


Let's all agree that David Bowie is hot. Even in those tight 80's tights....sorry, I've gone to the store....

The Princess Bride

"As you wish." Men should all adopt this line. It will get you so much further.

Stardust


I just went to see this tonight. Those of you who are mad at me because you wanted to go with me: never fear. I will go again. and again. This is a fabulous movie. Makes me in love with the movies all over again.

Tagged by Mintz!

Okay -Mintzy tagged me....(of course from behind....that's his M.O.) Here's the question:

Topic: Have you ever thought someone was cute that, um, say, didn't deserve to be thought of as such. Like serial-killers, or rapists, or bad people?

Okay- I don't think I've ever seen a hot serial-killer or rapist.....so we'll have to move on to bad. many categories of bad....

BAD MANNERS
1. Dennis Leary. Yup-That Dennis Leary. I know, I know- I don't know what it is....but there's just something about him: the crooked nose? the beady eyes? the smoking? the condescendingness? All things I dislike.....but put 'em all together and BAM! Come and pull my hair, Dennis Leary!






BAD PLANNERS
2. The jerk who backed out of taking me to the Homecoming Dance my senior year at THIS school. Yup! And even after that...I had the HUGEST crush--so much so that I went out on a date with him my freshman year of college.

BAD TANNERS
3. Okay....I don't know that he doesn't tan well, but he's Irish.....and smokes......and cusses worse than drunk jayne......but one look into those Irish Eyes and I'll give you one guess who'll be smilin' all day...

Friday, August 10, 2007

Songs about Jane....

Some friends in college once made a mix tape for me of "Jane" songs. I wish this had been out when I was in college.....but I think it's lovely.

Got any other Jane songs I may not have heard?

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

The Ghost and APj

We moved into the Weise House in 1974. It's funny, my folks have lived there for more than 30 years, longer than all (except one) in the neighborhood, and it is still called the Weise House. It was built sometime between WWI and WWII, relatively new, compared to some of the houses nearby. I remember feeling strange spots in the house almost immediately upon moving in. My mother thought I was just being sulky- as I hadn't wanted to move from California to Nebraska. When asked to explain it, all I could come up with was that it felt like someone was watching me. Like, if I turned around quick enough, I would catch whomever it was. I often found things (keys, change, books) in places that I knew I had not left them, but was always told that I just must have forgotten putting them there. Over time, anything not found was blamed on "Jayne's ghost."

I moved back to California in 1980. Funny how my vindication came only after I left....
My older brother John had slept in the moon room for years (yes, yes, a post will come soon about my mothers penchant for naming the rooms), but had abandoned the room in favor of a room in the basement after a nightmare. None of us has ever been told what the dream was about-- but we all heard him yell.... Jason, who up until this point had slept in the cubbyhole, lept at the opportunity for a "real room."
And the sightings began...
During the early summer of 1985 (a decade after we had moved in), Jason was talking to his girlfriend on the phone. "I saw something moving...out of the corner of my eye," Jason explained, "I thought it was Mom, so I just kept talking to Nickki. Suddenly, something grabbed my arm. I looked up -- and there was nothing....but something there! I screamed, threw the phone at the nothing, and bolted from the room." Jason refused to sleep in the room, and moved back into the cubbyhole. To this day, he refers to the Moon Room as the Ghost's Room, and will not go in alone.

In August of 1985, I sent my father a balloon-a-gram for his birthday. As many of you know, the latex ones begin to droop and drag by the second day, and the mylar ones keep floating. Such was the case, and so my mother had set the bunch next to the piano in the living room. As they were sitting on the couch one evening, the balloons began to move towards the dining room. "It's probably the air current" Dad assured Mom. "Let's follow it" challenged Mom(she is so-o-o brave and fearless!). Hardy Boy and Nancy Drew followed the balloons as they made their way through the dining room, into the kitchen, made a 60 degree turn into and through the "S" shaped hallway, and then proceeded up the stairs to the second floor. At the top of the stairs, the balloons made a 90degree left into my parents room, followed by a 90degree right turn into the football room (yes,yes more named rooms). The balloons floated up, and then sat on Dad's football chair. "I don't think it's air currents," concluded Hardy Boy. "Don't tell Jason,"admonished Nancy Drew.

The following spring found Jayne and baby Erynn visiting Nebraska. Erynn and I were sleeping one night when I felt the covers go taut. Thinking it was the family cat (aptly named, Spooky), I reached back to pet her. There was something there, resting against my legs.....but it wasn't Spooky....even though it was scary! "Please go away," I whispered, "I don't want to wake Erynn." The ghost left.

My mother thought the ghost had left for good, but I knew he was still around.

He didn't show himself again until about six years ago: I was watching T.V. in the den. Erynn was spending the night at the neighbors house, and Mom had gone up to take a bath. I was tired, so I decided to go up to bed. Turning the lights out in the den, I headed towards the staircase, turning the lights off in the living room as I started up the stairs. Suddenly, the light in the kitchen went on. "Hmmm..." I thought, "Mom must have come down." I turned back and went to the kitchen. Which was empty. "Strange," I thought, "I'm sure the light was of-" The light in the living room was on. Switching off the light in the kitchen, I sprinted to the living room, hoping to catch my playful mom, but the living room was empty too. Switching the light off, turning towards the stairs, I saw that the den light was on again. "Goodnight, ghost," I called, "I'm happy to see you, but I'm done playing for the night." I went up the stairs. Quickly, and looking straight forward, I headed to my bed. And turned the nightlight on....just in case.

Oh.....just in case you're wondering.......Mom was still upstairs in the tub.....

I always have the nightlight on........

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

My Favorite color is also the color of my soul....






What color is your soul painted?

Purple

Your soul is painted the color purple, which embodies the characteristics of sensuality, spirituality, creativity, wealth, royalty, nobility, mystery, enlightenment, arrogance, gaudiness, mourning, confusion, pride, delicacy, power, meditation, religion, and ambition. Purple falls under the element of Earth, and was once a European symbol of royalty; today it symbolizes the divine.

Personality Test Results

Click Here to Take This Quiz


quiz
Quizzes and Personality Tests



I swear I didn't tamper with the results on this one!

Thursday, July 26, 2007

GO BIG RED!

I am back from my trip "home." Dad was better than I had expected -- which was a blessing. He will not get better -- this I know. I am happy that he was well enough to go out for lunch....and to sit and joke and talk.




But I want to share Lincoln with you. Too many people assume too much about the midwest. And we all know what ASSUME-ing makes of you and me...







Upon arriving in Lincoln, one of the first sites you'll drive by is the University of Nebraska's football stadium. Although it may not look impressive on the outside, the stadium holds more than 85,000 screaming Big Red fans--making it the third largest city in Nebraska on any given HomeGame saturday.








One of my favorite aspects of Lincoln is the preponderance of parks! The city has more than 99 miles of trails and 114 parks (covering 5000+acres!) There seems to be a park within a walking distance or stones throw from most neighborhoods. Here is one that is a short stroll from my house.





Ahhhh!!!! You want to see the house of APJ? Wait no futher -- here you go. This two-story Colonial Brick house was built sometime around WWI. Even though it is young in age -- it does have a ghost. The ghost resides in the Moon Room(upper right window), APJ's bedroom was the lower right window. Ghost did have contact with three of the six children - me being one of them.



But that's a story for another day.





Come -- folllow me to the Kitty Walk. I think it was called the "Kid's walk" because it was the path for children through the park on the way to the elementary school. "Kid's Walk" became "Kiddie Walk" which became the"kitty Walk." These imprints have been there since I was in high school!









But I want to show you two of my favorite things down in the park.....hurry!









First - here is the memorial marker for my Aunt Jane. She was a teacher (hmmm) at the elementary school nearby. The marker sits in front of this memorial tree. That vast sidewalk you see is all that remains of the railroad track that used to run through town. It now is one of the longest stretches of bike path in any major city.











In fact, bikes play an interesting and integral role in the city. In 2003, the a public art project was undertaken with amazing results. Here are a few of my faves, but please go and look at the other 69 bikes created.
I hope you enjoyed my quick trip to Lincoln Nebraska......home to so much more than corn.....

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Life on Pause

Leaving today for Nebraska -- to see the folks. Dad's health is the same---and will not get better. And so, I go home as often as possible -- and say goodbye each time I am there. I used to spend my holidays "home" catching up and visiting with old friends. Now, I don't want to spend those minutes away from my family.

Of course, my folks have no internet, or ::shock:: computer. So I will take my trusty PC Tablet down to the schoolyard and steal their signal.

Luv you all-- and thanks for all the patience with my wobblies(yes, I'm talking to YOU. YOU know who YOU are). I know I'll be more of myself when I return.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Paolo Nutini

okay--gotta share one of my new faves. Only nineteen years old......