Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Practicing My Rogue Show!

Dear Bloggers,
I would like to introduce you to my partner in my new Rogue Show: this is DJ. DJ is helping me create my Man-I-Can for my show. The first week at my house, he hung around nekkid. Nekkid, because I don't have any man clothes at my house anymore!
I can hear you! You're thinking, "Is he anatomically correct?" The short answer is - No. No, but -
Um....he doesn't "dent in" like Ken (the Barbie Ken) did -
-Can I just say I think Ken messed me up for years?

- But there's More like a .....codpiece. Interesting.
He kinda freaked me out the first night. Okay, he really freaked me out - I kept forgetting he was there, and I'd come around the counter, and, "Oh shit! There's a nekkid man in my dining ro - oh, it's only my mannequin."
This happened three or four times that evening, before I finally crawled into bed,with my brain musing, "wouldn't it be funny if he was standing somewhere else when you woke up?"

I replied, "NO, Brain!!!!! No, that wouldn't be funny!!!!!"

But once the thought was planted, it grew at warp speed in APj's fertile nightmare brain. "Oh, I know: what if you get up to go to the bathroom and he's at the end of the hall.....and when you come out of the bathroom his arms have switched positions.....and then when you roll over in bed you can see him in the doorway....and then, and then, and then."
I had to get out of bed, go to the kitchen, take his arms off and place them on the counter.

"Well, "warned my brain, "he can still hurt you."

"No he can't," I retorted, "he doesn't even have a peni"

"That doesn't matter!" my brain replied, "he can headbutt you to death!"

"Fine!" I whispered through clenched teeth, "I'll just remove his torso, and place it over here on the table! How's that, brain? Can we go to sleep yet?"


"No? Why?"

"Because, because his lower half could still walk into the bedroom and att-"


"SO!!!!! He could strangle you with his plastic thighs! And he'd be so pissed you took him apart-"

"Fine! I've got this!" I reply, as I turn his lower half so that it's facing the counter, "everyone knows a mannequin can't back up."

"They can't?" questions Brain.

"No," I responded confidently, "I saw it on Dr. Who."

DJ and I are working on our show, which opens in (crap!) 10 days. He keeps losing his hand, or trying to upstage me. I'll try to post more stories and pictures over the next few days.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

So it is written, so let it be done....

Crap. I guess I'd better finish the last few bits.....

Friday, February 06, 2009

Today, I am celebrating saying, "Yes"

I have a hard time saying, "No."
Some of my friends would disagree with that statement, but it's true. If you ask me, I'll probably say yes.
Please note: ask. Not beat around a bush, not accidentally imply, just ask.

::sigh:: I think I'm going off on a tangent - a tangent I don't want to deal with right now.

Because today, I'm counting...and celebrating..... "Yes."

"APj, would you like some coffee?"

"Apj, would you put a tiara on your head, a feather boa around your neck, and a cardboard box 'car' around you and race it around the gym for the rally?"

"APj, would you please help me with my taxes?"

"APj, would you put this air-filled Sumowrestler costume on and wrestle one of the wrestlers that won the City championship?"

See? Just ask me.....

"Apj, can I pull your hair?"