"Even though you've got all the witnesses you need.....you should be afraid. Be very afraid...."
I’ve shopped alone for so long, that the thought of shopping with someone else is a bit intimidating….
When I go to the store alone – it’s just…ME. And it’s so easy to go shopping alone: I don’t have to put makeup on. I don’t have to hold my stomach in, or shave my legs. I can just…go to the store! And once there, I can go down any aisle I want: quick, slow – heck, I can even go down the same aisle three times, and who’s there to care? Ya’ know, I’ve even found myself at the store and changed my mind, deciding that I’d rather take a nap instead…
So imagine my surprise (momentary shock and terror) at finding myself at the store….in tandem:
“Oh crap!” I fret, “What is he doing? Oh…I think I know – I remember this! He’s pushing my cart! WhatdoIdowhatdoIdo? Should I pretend I don’t know he’s pushing the cart? Oh! Maybe I should I hold on to the cart—yes, that’s it! I’ll just place my hand next to his – then I’ll know what to d-
Whoa! What aisle is this!?!?!? Fruits and Vegetables? Nice….but I’m really not that crazy about
“What’s that?” he inquired, pausing the cart and perusing some melons.
“Nothing,” I reply, “I just forgot about the cantaloupes. Those are nice. I forgot how nice they are…”
After careful consideration, said fruit is placed carefully in the cart, and--
And we’re off again! The breakneck pace is exhilarating, even though I’m afraid I’m going to crash into the bread. Or the cookies. Gawd, I worry, what if I crush the cookie?
“Did you just say, ‘Cookies?’” he asked, “I love cookies.”
So…a few cookies later…
Oh heck, a few cookies and aisles later, I was riding in the basket – arms and feet dangling over the side, dazed and confused, but thoroughly enjoying the whirlwind swirling around me. I think I remember talking to a tall dwarf…or maybe it was a clown? Either way, he was very pleasant to talk to. We had a couple of conversations.
I had forgotten how much fun shopping with someone else was! I rediscovered parts of the store that I’ve avoided for a long time. Yes, yes, as usual, there were items I would have loved to have gotten at the store, things I meant to get and forgot (but got something else instead), and there were some aisles we didn’t go down. But, allinall, it was a fabulous excursion. I look forward to my next shopping trip.
You may be smooshie and taste unnatural, but you're so darn cute.
1. Don't call me smooshie....
2. I don't taste unnatural -- it's just the preservatives, damnit.
3. duh - of course I'm cute...
|You Are Apple Cider|
Smooth and comforting....sounds like cough medicine...
but I like the nasty line...
"Call me Ms. Nasty!"
A Robo Pumpkin Face
You would make a good pumpkin cyborg.
Great...another thing that takes batteries...
|Your Monster Profile|
Omega? Does that mean I am the Final Fighter? Cool!
You Feast On: Fingernails
lies...lies....well, I USED to chew them....but I never swallowed them....on purpose....
You Lurk Around In: The Ocean
you say tomato, I say tomahto
you say lurking, I say lounging.
You Especially Like to Torment: British People
well...if he'd quit winking my turd I might stop torm--
aw, who'm I kidding!?!?!?!? He's just so-o-o-o much fun to torment. And I think he kinda likes it....