Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Blogthings again!

Argh!!!!!!! That silly Lime. She knows how crazy I get with these things....

You Are Fish

You have a well formed palate and a daring appetite. If it's served to you, you'll at least try it.People are pretty scared of your exotic ways. But once they get a taste of you, they're addicted!
What Kind of Meat Are You?
People are usually a bit scared of me -- but I never thought it was because of my exotic ways. Geez, I didn't know my ways were exotic! Hmmm....gives a whole new meaning to the Rogue BBQ cry of, "Get off the meat!" eh?
You Are Mud Pie
You're the perfect combo of flavor and depthThose who like you give into their impulses
What Kind of Pie Are You?
....still waiting for SOMEONE to give into their impulse(s). Hell, I'll supply the pie!
You Are a Jam Cookie
On the outside, you project a straight-laced, innocent vibe. But on the inside, you're complex, exotic, and full of flavor.
What Kind of Cookie Are You?
all this exotic and impulse talk has sent me to the store......back soon!
You Are a Powdered Devil's Food Donut
A total sweetheart on the outside, you love to fool people with your innocent image.On the inside you're a little darker, richer, and more complex.You're a hedonist who demands more than one pleasure at a time.Decadent and daring, you test the limits of human indulgence.
What Donut Are You?
okay,okay -- when I did this the first time, I lied. I said I would only eat one donut, and that I liked KrispyKreme. It told me I was a plain glazed donut.
ME!?!?!? Plain!?!?!? Glazed!?!?!?!? No way! Must be a mistake -- especially after all the exotic and impulse stuff above. So... I told the truth this time....and look: now I'm a hedonist. Look out Sandals! Here I come!!!
You Are Chinese Food
Exotic yet ordinary.People think they've had enough of you, but they're back for more in an hour.
What Kind of Food Are You?
...and AGAIN I'm exotic.....yet, ordinary......isn't that an oxymoron? When are the people coming back? Has it been an hour yet?
what a wonderful meal that was. and, of course, after a full meal (and chinese food), one gets dessert. And what better dessert, than a fortune cookie?
Your Fortune Is
Passionate kiss like spider web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

a kiss is like a spider web? Did the fly die? Is that a good thi -- oh......THAT kind of fly.....

-'scuse me. I've gone to the store, again....

Monday, November 27, 2006

Homeward Bound

I'm flying over the midwestern states - chasing a red sunset all the way. I've a northern window seat, and scan the horizon as we careen through the evening sky. That was always my job when we flew. Voldemort flew the plane; I sat in the co-pilot seat, talked on the radio, made sure we were flying at the correct altitude
-- okay, quick lesson here (after all, I am a teacher, and can't help teaching....) Planes fly "VFR" which is "visual" and "IFR" which is instrument (not, "I Follow Roads"). Did you know that there may only be 500 feet between a plane flying VFR and one flying IFR?!?!? IFR planes flying 0-170degree courses fly on the odd thousand, VFR planes fly on the odd thousand plus 500ft. Above 180degree courses fly on the even thousands, VFR (again) +500feet. Holy shit!!!! So if some Yahoo didn't set the altimeter right.....or is lazy on the yoke......

--which brings me back to MY job -- and the most important part (I thought) of my job: scanned the horizon for other planes. "Why did you scan the horizon?" you ask, "Isn't that the job of the God (otherwise known as the Air Traffic Controller)?"
here is my recollection of one of our trips to Sunny Southern California.....

GOD (ATC#1): ......TwoZuluDelta, this ATC#1. You have traffic at 25,000, 3 miles out.

APj: "Thank you ATC#1. I'll keep my eyes open." Geez, Mike! 25,000 ft!?!? That yahoo thinks I can see 15,000 feet above me!?!? Ha! Like I'm really worried about--HOLY SHIT!

Mike: What?

APj: "ATC#1, Negative on 25,000ft 3mile out traffic. But I've got traffic on my 3 o'clock at 15,000ft, less than 1 mile out.

ATC#1: I don't have that bird.

APj: Mike?!? WTF!?!?!? What does he mean he doesn't have that bird?!? I can see the pil--

Mike: Calm down, Jayne. He just means that plane is under someone elses watch. Remember: I told you that all the Traffic Control Centers intersect--

APj: Yeah, yeah. Fine. Hey! Watch your altitude! Aren't you supposed to be on the +500 ft thingy?

Mike: You radio. Me Fly Plane.

Apj: You crash, Me jump from Plane!

ATC#1: TwoZuluDelta, I'm passing you off to Riverside, God#2.

God#2/ATC#2: TwoZuluDelta, I have you. Please be advised you have traffic at 32,000ft, 15 miles out.

APj: "Thank you God#2." Geez, Mike! What is it with this "traffic at zillions of feet" crap?

Mike: Yeah, I know. But they have to tell us when anyone is in our airspace. That's their--

APj: Shit!

Mike: What?!?

APj: "God#2. Negative on 32,000ft, 15miles out. But I've got a plane at my 9 o'clock, at approx 13,000ft and less than 1 mile.

God#2: Hmmm.....I don't see him on my scope.

Mike: Jayne!?!? What are you doing!?!?!? Why do you have your hand on the door?

APj: Mike, I hope to God you don't hit any turbulence. 'cause I feel the slightest jolt, and I'm jumping!

He smiled, and told me I was being silly. He thought I was being melodramatic. Over-reacting. Yup.....right up until this final exchange as we were on our final approach into John Wayne/Orange County Airport.

God#4: TwoZuluDelta, what's your maximum cruise speed?

APj: 150 MPH

God#4: TwoZuluDelta.....ahhh......what kind of plane are you?

APj: Cessna 182.

God#4: TwoZuluDelta....ahhhhhh.....maintain maximum speed. You've got a 727 right behind you on final.

APj: What?!?!?

So there we were, in our tiny little Cessna 182......screaming over the fence on our final approach......not allowed to slow down until we were halfway down the runway.........bigass bird on our tail.........

so now you know why APj is looking out the window when she flies.....

Thursday, November 23, 2006


I'm in Nebraska, visiting my folks for the holidays. My Dad is not doing well -- but is doing better than many expected. It is hard to see him struggle for each breath -- but he still makes me smile. My Mom gets frustrated, but still loves him.

And I am cold!!!! It is 40 degrees outside -- and I am sitting down at the schoolyard stealing their internet signal.

There is so much that is wrong in the world, in my country, in my neighborhood, in my family, and in my home. But there is so much we all have to be thankful for. A good time to pause and give thanks to

...my parents. For showing me grace in the face of adversity.

...my daughter, Erynn. For showing me that even though I mess somethings up, she isn't one of them.

...my students. For showing me daily that what I do has impact and effect on them.

....my Rogue friends. kien, Marcel, SSM, Mustang, Kowboi. You pick me up when I'm feeling down.

...my Roguish chica's. Cindy, Nic, Rachel, Katie, Kamotion. Ladies....you rock. Must have an outing when I return.

...my blog buddies. Kamotion (who actually fits in the two catagories above), Kfarmer, Lime, and SGL. thanks for all the great and encouraging responses.

It is frickin' cold and my fingers are freezing. Gonna go back to Mom's and eat. I'll be back in CA by Saturday.

Love ya'll lots...


Friday, November 10, 2006

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

Ahhh....so THIS is why I love to putz about the house - painting, flooring, electrifying, yarding, weeding and planting. Because I must make it beautiful....of course, the process is not beautiful at all: piles and stacks abound...

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born.

So -- this is saying that I'm a womb!?!?!? So THAT'S why I can't lose weight....

This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

True, true, true...whatever you do....don't piss me off...and yes -- when angered I react by withholding and striking out.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Saturday, November 04, 2006


Your Birthdate: November 5

You have many talents, and you are great at sharing those talents with others.

Many people have wrongly interpreted that as being nosey.

Most people would be jealous of your clever intellect, but you're just too likeable to elicit jealousy.

Uh-huh. And if they still act all jealous and stuff....I just dump the bodies where they'll never be found.....

Progressive and original, you're usually thinking up cutting edge ideas.

Don't forget the witty reparte.

Quick witted and fast thinking, you have difficulty finding new challenges.

in other words: I have A.D.D.

Your strength: Your superhuman brainpower

(doncha just hear Ren and Stimpy: "I will take over the world today! Muh-hahhahhah.")

Your weakness: Your susceptibility to boredom

Hel-LO!?!?!? I can't help it! It's the A.D.D.

Your power color: Tangerine

what a sucky color. I mean, what's so powerful about Tangerine? Unless you throw it. Or shoot it out of a potato gun. Hmmm......

Your power symbol: Ace

Do you mean Ace Freeley? The guitar player from Kiss? I like guitar players....maybe not with so much makeup.....or better shoes than me....hey - did you see that Payless Shoes was having a --err, sorry....A.D.D......
Your power month: May

May?!?!? Power!?!?!? Okay - I'm going with rulesschmules here. My power month is MARCH.....cause that's when the Rogue is!!!

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
November 5th
1960 - Tilda Swinton, English actress
Hmmm..... I'm the same age as the White Witch. Do I look older or younger? Careful! Think before you answer.....
1913 - Vivien Leigh, English actress (d. 1967)
Ah wood jus luv ta stahnd on thoz steaps an cawl: "Rhett! Rhett!"
1998 - Lewinsky scandal: As part of the impeachment inquiry, House Judiciary Committee chairman Henry Hyde sends a list of 81 questions to US President Bill Clinton.
Great. AGAIN....somebodyotherthanme gettin' some action on MY birthday...

1605 - Gunpowder Plot: A plot led by Robert Catesby to blow up the English Houses of Parliament is thwarted when Sir Thomas Knyvet, a justice of the peace, finds Guy Fawkes in a cellar below the Parliament building.
Remember, remember the fifth of November,
Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes,'twas his intent
to blow up the King and the Parliament.
Three score barrels of powder below,
Poor old England to overthrow:
By God's providence he was catch'd
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, make the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!
Hip hip hoorah!
One of these days I WILL be in London to celebrate my birthday! But until then, I expect my friends on that side of the pond (kien and Lelly) to celebrate for me.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Happy Halloween

Errr…..sorry it’s been so long. I kinda got dragged/drugged?
--No, definitely not drugged….I would have remembered that--
--into a grove.

Hobb’s Grove, to be exact. My good friend Lore owns and operates what I think is the scariest Halloween haunt this side of Transylvania.

My daughter, Erynn, worked there one year and lost her voice. Next day her teacher asked her why she was so hoarse. Erynn’s reply? “I lost my voice screaming and chasing people with a knife through the kitchen….” Yes….I did receive a phone call…..

--But back to Lore – she called halfway through her “run” with a plea for help. She needed me to come handle the money. Hmm…..a chance to be Scrooge McDuck and count loads of money? Sure! But it meant I was teaching during the day, and counting $$ til passed midnight. Bone tired. Ha-ha….I said bone…..

And then other night was Halloween. Can I just say, I love Halloween? I do! I love decorating, although time got away from me this season (see excuse #1 above). I used to take all the neighbor kids trick-or-treating on a flatbed trailer (out here in the country, the houses are fa-a-a-r-r-r apart). I love dressing up. The other night, I was Dorothy. As in “Wizard of Oz” Dorothy….but, well….it was kinda Hoochie Dorothy…or maybe Oz Afterhours…….

I remember one costume from college – I went as WonderWoman. Costume came from Fredricks of Hollywood. So, yes, I guess it would have been HoochieWonderWoman (hmmmm…seeing a personal pattern I wasn’t aware of….). Great costume! Tiny bikini bottom and halter top (and I was forty pounds lighter), five-inch platforms, red stripes in hair. Uh-huh – DEFINITELY HoochieWonderfulWoman. Feeling all superheroine and all strutting around…..took off platforms…….and proceeded to step on the handle of a pair of scissors (with left foot) and imbed the blade of said scissors into my right foot. Severing an artery.
Did you know artery blood will shoot up over two feet? Yup. It can. Yup. It did.

Tied towels around gusher (formerly known as Jayne’s foot) and headed to the hospital. Upon reaching the Emergency Room I realized that HoochieWonderWoman was probably going to be mistaken for HookerWenchWoman, and insisted that my friends go and procure an acceptable gown for me. Doctors, Mom and friends all had a fantastic laugh at my expense. If I’d have had that Truth Lasso I would have hung them all…

I was on crutches for 6 weeks because of the artery damage. I grew so tired of the following exchange -

Stranger: Sorry you’re on crutches. Skiing accident?
Me: No. I stepped on a pair of scissors—
Stranger: Scissors!?!?! How did you do that?
Me: Well, I took off my Wonderwoman shoes—
Stranger: WonderWoman? Ya’ wanna rope me with your lasso of truth?
Me: Why, so you really have to tell me how much of an ass you are?