Wednesday, April 30, 2008
5 things found in your bag:
A. condom. But it’s not mine, really! Solitaire gave it to me. And it doesn’t have an expiration date on it, so it's probably not okay to use it. Not that I get much opportunity...
B. banana. Well, maybe I could practice with item A.
C. Starbucks coffee bean sampler. But I broke my grinder (don’t ask), so I guess I’ll be chewing these…
D. a new package of batteries. None-a-yer-bizness.
E. Certificate of Completion. I can’t tell you what it’s for, except that it has nothing to do with A, B, or C. Hmmm…..maybe it has something to do with D!!!!!!
5 favorite things in your room:
A. My Queen-size bed. I love my bed!!!! You wanna come check it out?
B. My window. From my bed, I can see my horses in the mornings, and the stars at night.
C. The color of my walls: a soft green. Voldemort was a white-wall kind of guy. ‘nuff said.
D. A stack of books to read
E. Ummm…..it’s one of three things in my nightstand drawer.
5 things you have always wanted to do:
A. Have someone fall in love with me at first sight.
B. Ride in the space shuttle
C. Be in Times Square on New Years Eve
D. Travel to London
E. My show (okay, yes, I know I’ve done this. But I want to do it again – and better!)
5 things you are currently into:
A. Brutal self-reflection (all will be fine in the end. this I know)
B. Cheez-it Crackers. I don’t know why, but I’ve been craving these constantly!
C. Battlestar Gallactica. No, not the 70’s version – the new one on the Sci-Fi channel. This is the final season – and it is so fraking good. I wanna be Starbuck.
D. Um…..it’s one of the three things in my nightstand drawer.
E. Procrastination. I’m planning on giving this one up. Maybe tomorrow.
5 people you’d like to tag:
A. Brad Pitt
B. George Clooney
Oh….not that kind of tag? ….nevermind…..
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Saturday, April 19, 2008
So.....Lime blogged about chocolate....and the Zodiac.... two of my favorite things -- put together! According to Chocolate Lime, I am an M&M. Now, Molly, (otherwise known as the voice in my head) had her own opinions on the advice. I've included her ran --err opinions in blue.
M&Ms (October 31-November23) You are a party animal. You're a bit frenetic at times, and, well "frenetic" sounds so much better than spastic, eh? Everyone notices you, but in a good way - not in that "omigawd, she's naked" bad dream kind of way. You bring a smile to everyone with your antics and enliven staid situations, usually with your disaster dates or your triumphant shopping trips. You don't have a lot of patience for the dark brooding types so stay away from Truffles, or you might find yourself unable to keep from yelling at them, Poe and Plath, Poe and Plath!" You'll get along with Chips who may help calm you down when you are too over the top, but then again, what's so good about peace, love, understanding, and calm? Let's go find you a real mate. So, Jayne, what kind of chocolate do you fancy?
Jayne: Well, I've always been fond of chocolate ice crea--
Jayne, even though Chocolate Ice Cream (January 19-February 16) is refreshing to be around, they require rather specific conditions to perform well. Conditions!?!? Does that mean like everything has to be THEIR way or NO WAY!?!? Chocolate Ice Cream can alternate between being a real drip and being downright frigid if not provided the right environment but those who treat Chocolate Ice Cream right are rewarded with real pleasure. Jayne, even though you are a tasty addition to this delightful dessert, I don't see it lasting.....for God's sake, he'll be a puddle of goo at your feet....or somewhere else.... NEXT!
Well....the candy bar and the nibs look kinda boring
Yup, and the ganache is a fricking, moody snob "POE AND PLATH!"
Sorry -- hey! how about chocolate cake!
Oh! I like chocolate cake
Well Chocolate Cake (May-16-June 21), like Ice Cream is popular and folks enjoy being around him. Sweetie, that means you might have to share the spotlight with him... He's more adaptable though and can navigate great formality or basic simplicity with ease. Hmpfh! He hasn't seen you in action! Chocolate Cake is a peacemaker who can even keep Ganache and Mousse together harmoniously. What is this with all the Ganache, Truffle and Mousse talk!?!? "POE and PLATH, for cryingoutfrickingloud! Stick your head in an ov-
Well, if we skip the truffles and the mousse
and forget about Hot Chocolate - Good God, can you imagine the mess?
But don't I melt in your mouth not in your hand?
Hey! There's an idea -- something similar, but different. How about chips?
Well, even though Chocolate Chips (August 12-September 17) wishes he had the strength to stand on his own but generally need the support of others, he makes up for this slight woosiness because his presence is often what strengthens those he is with. He adds a special sweetness to every setting he is in and makes people smile even when he is melting from the heat of the situation. That sounds hot!
No it doesn't.....it sounds like a gooey mess! Worse then the ice cream!! At least gooey ice cream can be licked off - Molly?
Sorry -- I went to the store --
Maybe I should just find another bag of M&M's.....peanuts, anyone?
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
My friends and co-workers are now sending me dating advice. Usually I ignore it....but this one was wonderful! I think I will add this to my new dating profile:
of course -- it is difficult for me to not put in my two cents -- so my bit is in purple.
Five tips for a woman.....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
a. This means that dishes go in the dishwasher, dirty clothes go in the hamper, and the toilet seat is down.
b. I am pretty open-minded about your "Job." I know that I'm not usually attracted to the 9-5 kind of guy. But seriously? You need to do "something."
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
a. And that's "laugh" in a good way. Not in a "omigawdhereallydoesn'tthinkI'mgoingtobelievethatstory" way.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
a. You lie -- you die. Okay, maybe not in that 6-feet-under-die kind of way....but definitely it will be the death of "us."
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
a. Both love and spoil can be done on limited funds and without ever having to get dressed....
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
FYI: 47 year-old divorcee looking for Mr. Right does not seem to be working. Seriously, no normal/quasi-normal guy between the ages of 30-55! Please note the age range. For some reason, the under-30 and over 60 bracket often inquire...My response: "Sorry, I don't do diapers.
Hmmmmm...perhaps I should use this song as my dating profile....
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
First, I had to check on the snail trap (beer in a lid). It doesn't hurt the wildlife (as long as you don't consider drunk kitties and coyotes injured), but it looks kinda gross. "Hmm.....and people wanna eat these things?"
::sigh:: only the French could come up with that. Or Fear Factor! I wonder if they're French?
--I step up on the rock to look in the Pampas grass for snails (wow, look at the cow, I mean that calf. well-developed, eh?) No snails! I walk around the other side, and STILL NO SNAILS!!! (hmmm....but part of this bed is bare -- I need to put something there).
That, by the way, sounds like good advice: if you have a bare bed, put something there.
I continue around the yard, seeing which sprinklers need fixing, deciding the sprinklers really need to be on now (instead of off while I drag ass about fixing them) or the yard will never green up.
Wow! Can you see that? Look at the sunrise. Too far? Here......let me get closer for you....
::sigh:: I really do love the mornings.....
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Sarah had this lovely idea to blog about a person who has had an impact (positive or negative) on your life. “What a lovely idea!” I thought, “I think I’ll do that.” And I promptly got busy/preoccupied/distracted.
But really…what a lovely idea. I’m thinking this could be a good exercise for me. I am going to try to do this weekly, although I don’t know if I’ll be doing it on a certain day (my whole “rules-schmules” mentality).
So without further ado….here is my first POW:
Chronologically, I haven’t known him long, but it feels like I’ve known him my whole life.
All ya’ll know me – you know how high up I’ve built the walls around me. It is safer that way – yes, yes, lonely, but safe is still good for me. I only let people in...just...so...far....
– or so I like to think. But this person is somehow able to see into my very core– and pluck pieces out. He takes my painful memories and experiences and turns them into things of beauty.
“Who, Jayne, who?” I hear you scream, “who can this be?”
Howe ver, when I listen to it I find myself saying, “Wait up. Hold on, how did he know that?”
And now this one arrived in the mail last week. Kien said he was inspired by my goodbye to Rio. I have to share it with you, because it, like kien, touches to the very soul:
"The Days of Flying"
So hard to say goodbye
This is the end of a million years gone by
In the morning rays we spend
One last time like it will never end
I don't want to let you down
But you know I won't be around
I give you my love
I give you my love
In this field forever
You I will remember
Yes, I see you're crying
But there were days of flying
Will always be
I don't want to let you down But you know I won't be around I give you my love You have my love always
Troubadour...thanks for letting me share this song.