Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Practicing My Rogue Show!



Dear Bloggers,
I would like to introduce you to my partner in my new Rogue Show: this is DJ. DJ is helping me create my Man-I-Can for my show. The first week at my house, he hung around nekkid. Nekkid, because I don't have any man clothes at my house anymore!
I can hear you! You're thinking, "Is he anatomically correct?" The short answer is - No. No, but -
Um....he doesn't "dent in" like Ken (the Barbie Ken) did -
-Can I just say I think Ken messed me up for years?

- But there's no......umm......parts. More like a .....codpiece. Interesting.
He kinda freaked me out the first night. Okay, he really freaked me out - I kept forgetting he was there, and I'd come around the counter, and, "Oh shit! There's a nekkid man in my dining ro - oh, it's only my mannequin."
This happened three or four times that evening, before I finally crawled into bed,with my brain musing, "wouldn't it be funny if he was standing somewhere else when you woke up?"

I replied, "NO, Brain!!!!! No, that wouldn't be funny!!!!!"

But once the thought was planted, it grew at warp speed in APj's fertile nightmare brain. "Oh, I know: what if you get up to go to the bathroom and he's at the end of the hall.....and when you come out of the bathroom his arms have switched positions.....and then when you roll over in bed you can see him in the doorway....and then, and then, and then."
Shit.
I had to get out of bed, go to the kitchen, take his arms off and place them on the counter.

"Well, "warned my brain, "he can still hurt you."

"No he can't," I retorted, "he doesn't even have a peni"

"That doesn't matter!" my brain replied, "he can headbutt you to death!"

"Fine!" I whispered through clenched teeth, "I'll just remove his torso, and place it over here on the table! How's that, brain? Can we go to sleep yet?"

"No."

"No? Why?"

"Because, because his lower half could still walk into the bedroom and att-"

"HE DOESN'T HAVE A PENI-"

"SO!!!!! He could strangle you with his plastic thighs! And he'd be so pissed you took him apart-"

"Fine! I've got this!" I reply, as I turn his lower half so that it's facing the counter, "everyone knows a mannequin can't back up."

"They can't?" questions Brain.

"No," I responded confidently, "I saw it on Dr. Who."

DJ and I are working on our show, which opens in (crap!) 10 days. He keeps losing his hand, or trying to upstage me. I'll try to post more stories and pictures over the next few days.

6 comments:

lime said...

i'm glad i'm not the only one with a way overactive imagination. ;)

mssolitaire said...

LMAO!!!! Ok... now next year's Rogue show will be Jayne's Adventures with her Man-I-Can! ;)


Hilarious!!!

airplanejayne said...

Lime - ::sigh:: I wish I had other overactive things.

Sol - but isn't he hot!?!?!?!?!

mssolitaire said...

of course he's hot!!! :) even better with the clothes on though... leaves more to the imagination and stuff :)

KFarmer said...

OMG, woman you always crack me up :) Good luck with the show~ break some ones leg :)

Diesel said...

His chest doesn't look quite right either. He's vaguely insect-like.