Tuesday, January 23, 2007

FORGET FRONTIER GIRL....LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX!

I knew that would get your attention.

Not that I give much credence to horoscopes and all, but let's just take a moment and see how APJ stacks up:

Yes, yes, APJ, born on the 5th of November, is a Scorpio. Yes, right again! Guy Fawkes Day - the firstborn of Anarchists -- or true Freedom Fighters and

--psst!

who's there?

--just the voice in your head

which one?

--Duh. The cute one, of course. Did you know that "Rebelliousness against all conventions, political extremism to the point where hatred of the Establishment makes the SCORPIO an utterly unscrupulous terrorist?"

says who?

--says the Signs of the Zodiac

cool! What else does SotZ say about me?

--well, this is kinda like above. It says here that, "Scorpios need great self-discipline, because they are able to recognize the qualities in themselves that make them different from other humans, and to know their utterly conventional natures can be used for great good, or great evil."

egads! I can almost see Dr. Evil with his "quotation marks" Come on! I'm not all that bad. Maybe.....maybe I'm all that good!! Like a superhero!

--well, it says here that you do have a super power--

really! a superpower!?!? What is it? Tell me!

--Be patient (yes, yes, not one of your gifts).....let me read down a bit....hmmmm....here it is -- "Scorpios sometimes possess penetrating eyes which make their shyer companions feel naked and defenseless before them."

Wait a fricking minute! Are you telling me that I can make shy guys feel naked and defenseless? Really!?!? I think I'm gonna start staring a whole lot more-- I can almost feel the power rising--

--Yup! there's stuff on that too! According to SotZ, "Scorpios are the most intense, profound, powerful characters in the zodiac. Even when they appear self-controlled and calm there is a seething intensity of emotional energy under the placid exterior. They are like the volcano not far under the surface of a calm sea, it may burst into eruption at any moment."

Wow. I thought that was just sexual frustra--

--how is it you always manage to bring it back to sex!?!?!? Normal people bring it back to Do Re Mi, but you! You always gotta go there -- Fine. Fine. Here ya' go, pervert -- here's the sex part: "Scorpio is the symbol of sex and Scorpios are passionate lovers, the most sensually energetic of all the signs. Their overriding urge in loving is to use their power--"

power!?!?! I get to use my superpower eyeballs to make them naked and defenseless?

--no. you do not. You "use power to penetrate beyond themselves and to lose themselves sexually in their partners in an almost mystical ecstasy, thus discovering the meaning of that union which is greater than individuality, and is a marriage of the spirit as well as of flesh."

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.....sorry......went to the store.....

--so....big shot -- since you got me all worked up, what's my horoscope say for today?

A magical quintile between beautiful Venus and opulent Jupiter sets the stage for sensual enjoyment. We are more likely now to take direct action, as the best opportunities look better and better with passing time. However, keep in mind that the long-term effects of yesterday's Jupiter-Uranus Square can have us chasing imaginary rainbows throughout the year.Keep in mind that your desires originate within your unconscious mind. Shine the light of awareness onto your hidden emotions. You can defuse an uncomfortable situation by saying what hasn't yet been said.


Okay all ya'll, don't remember chasing rainbows, imaginary or not, anywhere near my or Uranus yesterday.......but I'm willing to use my superpowers to shine the light on any emotions that may be trying to hide. And, although the anarchist in me would rather defuse or detonate a bomb, I will try to be brave and say what hasn't been said (yet).....when the opportunity arises.....

7 comments:

lime said...

ok, i am fixated on 'jupiter-uranus, square' say it out loud, with feeling. can you hear some italian guy insulting someone he thinks is hopelessly unhip?

Solitaire said...

Oh... so that's what you're doing when you look at men... how can a cusp-er like me one of those powers???

Happy hunting!

KFarmer said...

There you go again J, sending me off to read how hard headed and willful I am... lol.

The sexiest man I've ever met in life is a Scorpio. Ya'll definately have the look :)

lecram said...

Did it say anything about Scorpios being schizo and having arguements with themselves?

airplanejayne said...

lime -- slimy Italian, right? still laughing!!

solitaire -- please note, we havn't seen any nekkid ones around when I'm using dem superpowers.....

kfarmer -- yes, I will definitely lead you astray -- or to Disneyland; whichever you fancy!

Lecram -- we resent that remark. Oh, and so do we.....(as if all the ya'll in your head don't qualify you!)

b o o said...

scorpions are sexxy freaks :) hows u APJ?

Lacquer, Semi-Gloss Lacquer said...

hmmm.
Nov. 10
high scorpio here.

seething, yup.
fierce stare, ahuh.
melting into partner,
(that sounds really messy.)

-able to see through things and say stuff that nobody has said yet.
(say way too much that nobody's said yet, actually, but I'm a high scorpio.)

see through women's clothing.
(former figure painter and sculptor, one day a nurse... have seen through lotsa clothing...)

but I seriously do not like arachnids and the only scorpion I want to be around is a Lancia Zagato Scorpion... (RaceCar.)

(no comment about the stinger,)