Saturday, April 28, 2007

Things that make me go hummmmm....

Okay, before you get your panties in a twist....let me explain:
After the Horizon Awards the other evening, we were all sitting (and some were drinking) at T.S.G. (aka Lipari, aka Starline Grill) when Rupert informed me that he was 38% gay.
APj: What?
Rupert: 38% gay.
APj: Well, you passed the hetro test at the wedding last summer. But 38%!?!?!? How do you know?
Rupert: I took a survey

::APj springs to her feet::

APj: A survey!?!?!?
Lecram: (shaking his head) Oh God, don't get her started on a blogy thing...
Joy: Maybe that's why you haven't--
APj: But I like penis!
Mia: Maybe you just think you like penis...
Lecram: (consulting his glass of scotch) Please, stop, please--
APj: No....I like penis.....and things that go "hummmmmm....."

::collective laughter::

Rupert: I'll send you the link.

so....I've been tossing and turning --and not because of the "thing that goes hum" -- waiting for this incredibly important survey. I mean, perhaps I need to buy Dickies Trousers instead of dicks IN trousers...

So the

Hmmmm (ah, that was me, not the thingy)......I would have to respectively disagree with these results. I am not Anne Heche lesbian -- although it is amusing that I live in the rural area of Fresno: where she was found wandering and talking to aliens......
1. I'm pretty sure that all days I am not a lesbian -- like I said: I like penis!
2. I've never ended up in another girl's panties. Except for that one time at band camp. Oh, and that time I borrowed a pair of cute chonies from Hoover in college....
3. of course I like to shave my armpits...the alternative is just gross. I wish that men shaved THEIR armpits!
4. And, while I haven't made out with a girl when a bunch of guys asked me.....I might if they dared me.....

So.....(yes, Lecram), I had to take another quiz!!!











Whew!! Only 30% gay. And I kinda like being described as a girlie girl with a butch side.


Okay ya'll. I gotta go work in the yard, ride my tractor, move some hay, and go to the hardware store. But don't fret: I've got cute panties on, my legs and pits are shaved, and I'm looking for cute men.
::Hummin'::

Hallelujah!

11 comments:

Cosima said...

The pic on Lecram's blog looked like you guys were having fun... would have never guessed the topic though... :D

lecram sinun said...

So trying to "cross fade" a real post with a blog thingy or 2 is still a blog thingy post. You know there are support groups.

lime said...

hhmm, apparently i am 60% gay..i suspect it is beacuse i am lothe to wear makeup and i know the difference between a phillips head and flat head screwdriver. well, that and the fight i got into in the street.

Joy said...

Holy cats! I'm more gay than you!

cheezwhiz.

I'm 36% gay.

It was the masturbation question, wasn't it? I should have answered that differently.... GUILT! OH, the SHAME...

mintzworks said...

43% gay. many would argue these results.

lecram sinun said...

I just realized coming back that the title of your post means that... you're giving yourself a hummer?

Mustang said...

ARRRRGGGHHHH...

Damn lassie, I be "too straight" at 20%, and !@#$ing proud o'that bit of knowledge! Wot silly git wouldn't a known my affinity for a ladies' "snuggle bit"?

Granted, I am wholly smitten with one wench, and entirely randly for that little lass, but ARRRGGGHHHH I am wont for a bit o'that right now!

Please forgive the proceeding display of hairsuite manliness, coupled with the Irish pirate brogue. My inner ape was emoting, and I find it necessary to appease it at times.

Mustang...ain't gay, boinks his wifey!

KFarmer said...

Good gracious- 56%. I guess it's because I know how to change the oil in my car and like Ms. Lime, the fight(s)... could be the brows too. Damn good one APJ :)

b o o said...

56% for the boo who loves penis too

kien lim said...

blinking marrrrrrreloouuss daaarlink!

airplanejayne said...

cosima -- somehow it always comes back to sex.....but it really isn't me that brings it up!!
oops....I said bring it up...

lecram: crossfade!?!?!? I crossfaded!?!?! cool....I'm getting better at this...hummmmmmmmm.

lime: hopefully you didn't fight in the street with a screwdriver. that would be really butch!

joy: get yer hands outta yer pants!


mintz: I really try not to argue with you too much. Except when I want you to be wrong.

lecram: hey! did I just crossfade a hummer! cool....

mustang: I love pirate brogue. I love pirates!

kfarmer: I pity the fool who wants to fight the three of us!

boo: I am having a hard time believing you are more gay then I...

kien: ta back at ya', darlink, ta right back at ya'..