After the Horizon Awards the other evening, we were all sitting (and some were drinking) at T.S.G. (aka Lipari, aka Starline Grill) when Rupert informed me that he was 38% gay.
APj: What?
Rupert: 38% gay.
APj: Well, you passed the hetro test at the wedding last summer. But 38%!?!?!? How do you know?
Rupert: I took a survey
::APj springs to her feet::
APj: A survey!?!?!?
Lecram: (shaking his head) Oh God, don't get her started on a blogy thing...
Joy: Maybe that's why you haven't--
APj: But I like penis!
Mia: Maybe you just think you like penis...
Lecram: (consulting his glass of scotch) Please, stop, please--
APj: No....I like penis.....and things that go "hummmmmm....."
::collective laughter::
Rupert: I'll send you the link.
so....I've been tossing and turning --and not because of the "thing that goes hum" -- waiting for this incredibly important survey. I mean, perhaps I need to buy Dickies Trousers instead of dicks IN trousers...
So the
Hmmmm (ah, that was me, not the thingy)......I would have to respectively disagree with these results. I am not Anne Heche lesbian -- although it is amusing that I live in the rural area of Fresno: where she was found wandering and talking to aliens......
1. I'm pretty sure that all days I am not a lesbian -- like I said: I like penis!
2. I've never ended up in another girl's panties. Except for that one time at band camp. Oh, and that time I borrowed a pair of cute chonies from Hoover in college....
3. of course I like to shave my armpits...the alternative is just gross. I wish that men shaved THEIR armpits!
4. And, while I haven't made out with a girl when a bunch of guys asked me.....I might if they dared me.....
So.....(yes, Lecram), I had to take another quiz!!!
Whew!! Only 30% gay. And I kinda like being described as a girlie girl with a butch side.
Okay ya'll. I gotta go work in the yard, ride my tractor, move some hay, and go to the hardware store. But don't fret: I've got cute panties on, my legs and pits are shaved, and I'm looking for cute men.
::Hummin'::
Hallelujah!
11 comments:
The pic on Lecram's blog looked like you guys were having fun... would have never guessed the topic though... :D
So trying to "cross fade" a real post with a blog thingy or 2 is still a blog thingy post. You know there are support groups.
hhmm, apparently i am 60% gay..i suspect it is beacuse i am lothe to wear makeup and i know the difference between a phillips head and flat head screwdriver. well, that and the fight i got into in the street.
Holy cats! I'm more gay than you!
cheezwhiz.
I'm 36% gay.
It was the masturbation question, wasn't it? I should have answered that differently.... GUILT! OH, the SHAME...
43% gay. many would argue these results.
I just realized coming back that the title of your post means that... you're giving yourself a hummer?
ARRRRGGGHHHH...
Damn lassie, I be "too straight" at 20%, and !@#$ing proud o'that bit of knowledge! Wot silly git wouldn't a known my affinity for a ladies' "snuggle bit"?
Granted, I am wholly smitten with one wench, and entirely randly for that little lass, but ARRRGGGHHHH I am wont for a bit o'that right now!
Please forgive the proceeding display of hairsuite manliness, coupled with the Irish pirate brogue. My inner ape was emoting, and I find it necessary to appease it at times.
Mustang...ain't gay, boinks his wifey!
Good gracious- 56%. I guess it's because I know how to change the oil in my car and like Ms. Lime, the fight(s)... could be the brows too. Damn good one APJ :)
56% for the boo who loves penis too
blinking marrrrrrreloouuss daaarlink!
cosima -- somehow it always comes back to sex.....but it really isn't me that brings it up!!
oops....I said bring it up...
lecram: crossfade!?!?!? I crossfaded!?!?! cool....I'm getting better at this...hummmmmmmmm.
lime: hopefully you didn't fight in the street with a screwdriver. that would be really butch!
joy: get yer hands outta yer pants!
mintz: I really try not to argue with you too much. Except when I want you to be wrong.
lecram: hey! did I just crossfade a hummer! cool....
mustang: I love pirate brogue. I love pirates!
kfarmer: I pity the fool who wants to fight the three of us!
boo: I am having a hard time believing you are more gay then I...
kien: ta back at ya', darlink, ta right back at ya'..
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