Thursday, January 01, 2009

Accidentally Dating

Accidentally Dating.

I met John the Baptist at church. That’s appropriate – yes? I mean, what better place than a church to meet Mr. Right? Of course, John the Baptist didn’t ask me out then. He had other things to do. Like wander in the desert? I don’t know, all I do know is that a year later, we ran into each other, one thing led to another, and bam! A date. An 8 hour date! Hey, I’m good at the first date thing….I thought a second date was a sure thing, but John the Baptist was…..shy, I guess that’s what happens when you’ve wandered the desert wearing goat fur…..not quite sure of yourself. Over the next few months John and I would be at the same events, he would come and sit and chat, I would chat and sit, all would be nice. But there were no organized dates. They were all….accidental dates.

“Nice to see you, can I join you, APj?”


“Would you like to go to dinner later?”

“Gee, John-the-Baptist, I’ve already got plans for later, but why don’t you call me and we can go out sometime?”

“Hey, APj! I didn’t know you were going to be here!”

“Well, John…..umm….it’s kinda my show?”

“oh, yeah, errmm….wanna go for a drink later?”

“Sorry, I can’t. But I’d love to go out with you again(silent scream: and you would surely get a little action – maybe I’ll let you push the cart…) SO why don’t you call me?”

My friends thought I was being hard on the Baptist – but come on: I’m sure he never accidently baptized someone.

- “Oops, so sorry, Jesus. I didn’t mean to dunk you in the river Jordan.”

So why should I let him start accidently dating me? Call me a prude (not), but I am not about to accidently date someone – even someone as well-connected as John-the-Baptist. I mean, come on you know what would happen, don’t you? Accidental dating leads to accidental making out, which leads to accidental sex, which can lead to accidental marriage.

Think I’m making this up? Hmpfh. I accidentally got married once. And not in that cool “going-to-Vegas-and-getting-falling-down-drunk-and-waking-up-next-to-a-hot-Brad-Pitt-look-alike” kind of way. Shit, like I could ever be that lucky….


KIEN LIM said...

Yea, for the Rogue for sure :)

KIEN LIM said...

Happy New Year Jayne!

lime said...

i dunno about the 'well-connected"aspect...remember that little run-in with herod after salome danced for him?

his head wasn't too well connected afterwards. ;)

KFarmer said...

I think you may be right Jayne. JtB sounds a little, I don't know, maybe it's with all that swimming around in creek beds and streams, fishy to me. I don't think you are a prude in any sort of way. You just have standards and good ones at that.

Wishing you the best of everything this year~ :)

lecram said...

So, the Bantist as played by Chuck Heston or Pete Boyle?

airplanejayne said...

kien - ta, sweetie. and yup -- this one is in the new show.

lime - you're right -- not so connected.

k - I do have standards: hair & teeth. oh, and a job would be nice. Not necessary, but nice.

lecram - sorry....I just blew chili verde through my nose. Much more painful than milk.....

Anonymous said...

LMAO!!!! Ok I absolutely LOVE this story!!! And why on earth haven't I heard about John the Baptist before???

Katie :) said...

John the baptist needs a camel sneeze to the face for being such a dork.

Did your cookie talk to John? That coulda been the problem- your overly aggressive cookie shocked the Bible right outta his hands.....


Aileen said...

Speaking of distracted, I'm sorry I didn't get to reading this until today. My mind has been . . . elsewhere.
Good story, I'm really looking forward to your whole show! Especially the way you describe it in your previous post.
I also read back a bit and through the lyrics of Kien's song for you. It made me cry. I'm going to go home now and snuggle with my furry babies.

airplanejayne said...

sol - you have heard! You just don't recognize him.

katie - my cookie is not aggressive. Persuasive, maybe. But never aggressive.

aileen - I'm glad you like it (so far).
Yes, the troubadour writes beautifully, whether it's about the freedom of skydiving, or flying across the ground.