Monday, January 02, 2006

Alas, poor Kermit, I knew him well.

Unlike many of the male persuasion, Kermit never let me down. He never left me stranded alone on the side of the road. He never gave me papers saying he was leaving because he wasn’t happy. Oh sure, I had to pamper him a bit – but come on, what man don’t cha?

I’ve never lost one – so tragically. So painfully. I went up to S.F. to see Obie 1 and the VP. I parked around the corner, because let’s face it: we all know that in S.F. you can’t park in front of where you’re going….right?

Night full of rain, rain, wind, wind. I love the sound of rain in the morning – so much nicer than napal—oh, that’s that other movie….sorry.

So I wake up, we eat breakfast, and decide to head out to do a little shopping.
“Hey VP! I need to stop by Kermit and get my jacket and my sunglasses”
So we drive around the corner – but we’re stopped by a barricade.
“Oh! The Hukilau must be having a block party for tonight!” exclaims the VP. I start to lift up the tape that is tied to the barricade.

--the yellow tape.
--the yellow tape which reads: “Warning! Police Line. Do No Cross.”

“Police line” I say to myself, “Crime scene? I wonder wha—“

and this is where everything goes to slooowwww-mooootionnnnnn.

I see a firetruck, and fireman. But it’s hard to see what they are doing because of that tree. Geez, I don’t remember that tree being quite so bushy –and big—and low! My Gawd, it looks like its on the groun……it looks like it’s—

“Steve, I think that tree is on my car.”

In disbelief I walked over towards the fireman.
And yes, I did check him out.
And no, I wasn’t interested in the fireman.


Bad parts:
1. Car is totaled.
2. Train ride took 4 hours (I can drive it in 2.75 hours).
3. Lady on the train coughed and coughed and coughed and coughed.
4. I will have to buy a new car

Good parts:
1. I am alive.
2. No one died
3. I am alive
4. Oh yeah, and an extreme skateboard movie was made of boarders jumping the tree and my car. As soon as pics come from Superman Steve I will post them here.

5 comments:

lecram sinun said...

Ouch! Damn, APJ! Sorry about Kermit. Let me know if you need the Roguemobile for a few days.

Glad you wern't in it when it happened.

scarysquirrelman said...

yeah, drive the beemer. it's a chick magnet!

airplanejayne said...

Lecram - I don't think I'll need the Roguemobile, but I'll let you know.

SSM - okay, maybe you were confused all those months -- I'm not interested in being a chick magnet, I'm interested in being a magnetic chick!!!

Mustang said...

APJ...

Glad you are OK. Sorry about the wheels.

EVERYTHING about you is magnetic!

M

Jamie said...

Damn...that just plain SUCKS.