Rogue is finished – and I haven’t overpaid too many people…..I think. I will be tallying the $$ these next couple of days, and then will hang up the Rogue accountant calculator until next year. Here are some of my favorite observations and memories of this year:
1. APj is moonlighting at another festival. Geez! They’re just copying stuff from the Rogue. Can’t even come up with an original name. Her emails say it’s called the Rogo. You know, I knew she couldn’t be trus --
--what’s that? You say she just typed the email address wrong? Oh, well in that case – “Never mind.”
2. Unlike Mono or even Dengue Fever, Rogue Fever is not a fun thing to catch. No kissing, no fondling, no sex! But coughing and blowing (no, not that kind of blowing) all over the place! Am still on the waiting list for drugs from the Doc. Memo to self for next year: Get flu shot before festivities begin…….
3. If Nile says that a person seems nice, we need to:
- maintain eye contact in a non-threatening manner
- back slowly from the room
- run screaming from the place before the scary lady tries to tie us up also.
4. Kudos to Devon, if for no other reason than being Jag’s girlfriend!!! Please have sex with him soon so he will stop telling jokes….
5. So, I’m walking down Fulton, with a shitload of money in my pockets, towards Dianna’s North and South (or is that South and North? Warning; don’t ask kien, ‘cause he’s turned around in the fog….) and I look across the street. Blimey! That’s a big guy! I better keep an eye on him. Okay, if he crosses the street, I’m gonna scream like a girl and run like a track – “Jayne! What are you doing walking alone?” Oops….big guy turns out to be Mustang. Thanks for guarding the money, Mustang. Thanks to Dana for the money runs. Dana, I love the little-red-riding-hood basket….cracked me up.
6. It rocks having a bodyguard! Especially a cute foreigner with an accent. Cor, I hope he’s available next Rogue….
7. Ashtree has great accommodations! They even put mints on my pillow for me. I put in my request for an upgrade for next year: I’d like the pleasure palace, please…
8. SSM? Here? I don't believe it. Didn't get one dance. Nope! Mustabeen an impostor squirrel.
9. Marcel is just a damn good storyteller. Watching him two nights prior to his opening, I thought, “Geez! Is he gonna pull this off?” Not only did he pull it off, he gets top picks kudos from the Fresno Bee. But I still am confused about his whole “got both sizes….can accommodate either” Huh? What? I don’t get it…..
10a. and speaking of getting it: even though Solitaire claims she was the Rogue virgin, I doubt that she still is. Hot, hot, hot!
10b. and still speaking of “getting it” – I didn’t. Although, Jaded insists there was interest from some youngster (what is it with the twenty-somethings!?!?!? Mrs. Robinson fantasies!?!?!), I ascertain that there was no offer-age, and since there was no offer-age, there was no interest. Then I had some cute foreigner tell me he didn’t want to scratch my bottom, but insisted on inspecting said bottom when I scratched it myself (voyeur!), announced that although said bottom was rough, it was absolutely perfect (ta!), but then tell me he had to pull out of my boot because his box wouldn’t fit. Yup – went home alone that night too. And finally, my personal favorite Rogue line of the festival: “APj, if you draw me a map, I’ll go down on you.”
I kid you not. There is NOTHING like the Rogue.
Party on Garth.