Saturday, September 13, 2008

The Actor, the Archaeologist, and Me

Heya, doc.

Heya, APj. How're ya' doing?

Great.

Seriously, how are you doing?

Great -- really.

Dating?

Well....sorta.

APj, there is no sorta in dating. There is dating, and there is not. there is no sorta. Just like there is no sorta pregnant. or sorta sex.

Well, Bill Clinton said that a bl

APj, do not attempt to change the subject. Answer the question: have you been dating?

Well, I went on three dates this summer, I'm still talking to that actor guy, and the hot archaeologist, Dr. Jone-

APj, the actor and the archaeologist do not count as dates. We've discussed this: if they are not physically available, it is not a date.

Doc, why not? I mean, there's conversation, there's witty repartee, there's loads of innuendos (some sexual, some not), and sincere concern. How is that not a date? I mean, seriously, the actor and the archaeologist kick ass over the three strike-out summer dates.

::sigh:: APj, file the actor and the archeologist for a

Doc, doesn't that sound like a TV show? Can't you just see it: The Actor, the Archaeologist, and Me. Kinda a Sex in the City -- but with no sex.....and no city (since I live in the country)

APj - stop trying to turn this into a joke. Your dating life is not a joke

Yes it is Doc. That's why I'm here. ::rim shot:: Thank you, thank you.

APj - focus. Tell me about Date #1.

Well, Date #1 was a teacher-

-Good start

-with a hot body

Even better - as shallow as you are.

I prefer visually inclined

whatever. Proceed.

We had a great dinner. We chatted, I was charming, he told me I had beautiful eyes

-you do

Thank you. He walked me to my car, emailed the next morning that he had a great time.

-sounds good

I thought so too! I responded that I had a great time too, and would love to go out again.

And?

And nothing!

Nothing?

Well, he wrote again the following week, saying that he'd been thinking of me, blah-blah-blah. I AGAIN replied, "likewise" and AGAIN responded that I'd love to do it again.
And?

Nothing.

Well, did you call him?

Come on, Doc! I called him the first time! It was his turn -- geez, I mean, I don't want to look desperate.

No, but you do want to look available.

Fuck you

No. I'm your doctor.

Oh, does that mean you're physically unavailable?

Yes.

No wonder I think you're hot. Maybe I'll call the show, "The Actor, The Doctor, The Archaeologist and Me."

Times up, APj. Same time next week?

See ya', Dr. McSteamy.

7 comments:

mssolitaire said...

LOL...

oh APJ... you and your physically unavailablemen....

chin up doll! ;)

lime said...

and the roles shall be played by george clooney, brad pitt, and whom?

airplanejayne said...

Sol: I like my physically unavailable men -- means I have to shave less.

Lime: Johnny Depp, of course... Wait! I think I wanna change the script! Maybe three weddings and a funeral (mine, 'cause after after those three, I know I'll be dead. Happy...but dead.

lecram said...

Ahh... finally a REAL post!

Fun... reminded of one of those "conversations with a disembodied voice that may or may not be the big G" plays that were so popular back in the day.

Disclosure: yes, even I in my earlier play writing days attempted one of those.

Cosima said...

It's all in the mind anyway, even if they are lying next to you in bed.

Dr. Jones hasn't come to visit yet? What's hindering him?

airplanejayne said...

lecram: yes, a real post! Yeah, the voice I hear is a combination of Malay/Fresno/Irish-Swede....and George Burns!?!?!?! (Say goodnight, Gracie)

Cos - no, Dr. J has not visited yet. I think it's the geography. And hence...yup, some of the best I've had is all in my head... :)

lime said...

ok, speaking of casting parts.....you have finally been cast into the blogosphere masterpiece, "Meme: the Movie!"

it's up today