Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Jumping Jayne!!!

picture taken after "big accident." That's me in the tan jumpsuit with the red helmet.

Here are the four most common questions I ever got about skydiving....and my answers:

Q: Why would anyone jump from a perfectly good airplane?

A: There is no such thing as a perfectly good airplane. Especially a “jump plane”

Q: How come you started skydiving?
A: Cause I wanted to fly. And meet guys.

Q: If I go up in the plane to watch the skydivers jump, and there’s an emergency,
how will I know if I have to jump or not?

A: If the pilot goes out the door, I advise you to follow him.

Q: I went on that parachute ride at 6 Flags, and it made me sick. Does it really feel
like that?
A: No – I hate that ride at 6 Flags – makes me wanna vomit.

There is no feel of falling in freefall – I always liked calling it “freeflying,” cause I don’t like falling! But there is no feel of “falling” not like when you jump out of a tree or off of a roof (yup, did both). In freefall, you’re too high up, too far from anything big enough for you to register movement against. Hmmmm…..still confused, eh?
Okay, time for another APj stroll – or in this case – fly, down memory lane:

I was very excited as the plane climbed: they were going to let me “close” last. Since there were only a handful of us women on the drop zone, we often became a novelty – “Just go out there and hold a heading. We’ll fly to you,” was the norm. But the four of them were going out first (2 on on the strut, 2 on the step) and I was gonna “bombout” the door. Cool!!!!
So we’re on jumprun, everybody is climbing out and into position, “Eat, Fuck, Skydive!” (Hey, its’ more clever than 1-2-3-go!), and off they went.
And the plane lurched a bit.
--and I lost my balance
--and fell back in the plane
--just a little bit.
But enough to put me REALLY far away by the time I recovered!!!! “Shit!! I’ll never catch em!” I berated myself. Pulling my arms in, and streamlining my body, I became a bullet in the sky. I was screaming through the sky at 120MPH. “Hmmm, maybe I’ll catch them after all…..”
Quickly, I saw that I was approaching the now-completed four-way. But I couldn’t believe what I saw. “Shit! Why are they spinning?” How could they do this to me? How am I supposed to dock if they won’t stop spin—“
About 20-30 feet away, I realize that --
I am flying at 120MPH towards them.
As a screaming corkscrew.
THEY are not the ones spinning.
The spinner is ME.
I frantically “get big” to slow my speed and stop my spiral. I slide 180degrees around the circle. And dock.
We smile, kiss pass (yup, just like it sounds), wave off, track away and pull.

On the ground, one of the SkyGods came over grinning and waving, “AirplaneJayne! Bitchin’ approach! You looked so hot!!””

Uh-huh. I never did tell him that I didn’t mean to do it. Why spoil a good thing?


scarysquirrelman said...

my question: if there's no such thing as a perfectly good plane, why the hell would you get in it in the first place?
plus, if you want me to jump (which i will) you have to go up with me and jump as well. this is still a serious proposition. but none of that "i know really great guys" and whatnot.
next tat touchdown: 9 days.

Lelly said...

Good Lord! Sky-diving must be THE most exciting/scary/fantastic/impressivething you can do, ever! And something I could never, EVER do...being a general all-round big fat scaredy cat! I am SO in awe of you Jayne!

Solitaire said...

You are to awesome!

Thanks for the story! :-)

HHNT sweetie!

Blueprincesa said...

Wow. I totally want to do that. You are so cool.

Mustang said...

Jumping Jayne...damn, just the title of that blog should send all the Stud-Bunnies in chutes into a frenzie.


lecram sinun said...

Shit! If I did that... a brown trail would follow behind.

Grand post BTW.

gloria jean said...

What a freakin' blast! I wanna go! I've only done one static line jump in my life; never a free fall; not even tandom. Have you really met lots of guys? It's a priority of mine again lately.

airplanejayne said...

ssm: probably the only serious proposition you have made....

lelly, sol, and blue : yes, was lots of fun for lots of years.

mustang: chute-stud-bunnies usually only go into a frenzie for a horny gorilla....hmmm, I may have to explain that to you, since that's your picture!!

glojo: jumping was a big part of my past, no so much now. I'll tell you: the guys are fun, but they only wanna spend money on jumping -- from planes, not you...

lecram: hmmm, guess that would be shittrails -- as opposed to contrails -- in the sky.

thanks to all for the funny comments on one of my fun memories!

all ya'll rock!

kowboi said...

damn jane your ass looks hot in that pic. lol