I am thoroughly exhausted from Christmas. "What did you do?" you inquire.
What - and Who - DIDN'T I do is more like it....
Let me share my Fabulous day....
"Who could possibly be at the door?" I panicked, "it's Christmas morning, for crying out loud!"
I stumbled to the door, wearing my lovely new outfit from Joy, and these bitching boots from Nic.
"Who is it?" I ask.
"Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas."
"Ya know, the last guy who called me a ho is buried out back," I retort, "so WHO are YOU!?!?"
"Well, I'll give you a hint. You once said something about licking butter off my--"
I quickly throw the door open, and yes....this is what Solitaire sent me to start my day:
Yes....I was a ho.....two or three times.
He left in a hurry after a call from Angelina, but promised to return. Soon.
"This is the best Christmas ever!" I effused, "how could this day get any better?"
"Hello? Is this Airplane Jayne's house?"
"Yes, who are you?"
"Well, your sister JoJo thought you might like to play pirates with-"
"Holy shit!" I screamed, racing to open the door, "Orlando Bloom!?!?!? For reals!?!?!?"
Yes, it was Legolas/Will Turner.
"I met a friend of yours while I was in England," he said, "she sent these and asked if you would please stay away from her man Dan."
"To hell with my 'over thirty' rule," I thought to myself.
"Come here, little boy," I cooed, as I dragged that child down the hall.
Four hours and trips to the store later..I was recharging my batteries so to speak, eating these, sent by Dan when-
"Hello?" I called, "who is it?"
"I'm back, " purred a now-familiar voice, "with the butter."
"Holy shit!" I raced to the door, "how is this possible?"
"Well," he smiled as he eyed my current ensemble, sent by a secret admirer, "your friend Nic didn't want to send Johnny, so I've come."
"No complaints," I gushed, grabbing the stick -- uh...of butter. "No complaints at all"
I just love Facebook. Leave me to my addiction. I will die with a smile on my face.