Thursday, June 19, 2008

The Mirrored Me.....

Caution: You may not be able to sleep after reading this:

I remember, as a child, waking from a nightmare. I don’t remember the specific nightmare, but I sat up in bed. I started to get out of bed, to head to the safety of my parent’s bed, when I noticed there was a mist….a fog in the hallway. It was about waist high – and sort of rolling.

And I knew it was bad. I knew I couldn’t walk through it – and I knew it wanted to come in the room. My room. But it stayed in the hall. I remember almost silently calling for my Mom –and somehow she heard. I will never forget the sight of my Mom wading thru the mist to save me. I closed my eyes and hung on tight to her as she led me to the safety of my parents room.

I had lots of nightmares as a child – and they were never like anyone else’s. Most of you remember The Lady with the Flashlight Eyes – and my other nightmares were equally as scary. On some level, I knew that often, my dreams were a window to some other place. Occassionally, “that place” leaked into my real world. I remember as a teenager, remembering that as a small child, I could sometimes see creatures in the trees. I don’t remember seeing t hem now – I just remember that as a teen, I remembered that I saw them as a child.

As a child, Erynn was plagued with it too. I taught her how to “change her dreams” and that worked most of the time. One of her more vivid nightmare stands out: I heard her crying, so I went to her room. She told me that in her dream, there had been a wolf in her closet. She told it to go away, and it snarled, “What’s your name?” She wouldn’t answer, and it growled before it faded. And -- the kicker – she was sure she was awake and sitting when it asked her name.

I grabbed her and ran to the safety of my bed.

Erynn also remembers seeing what she described as shadow people. She would be reading or drawing, sometimes in the middle of the day , and something/someone would almost take shape next to her, move around, and then fade away. She says the last time it happened she was (around) 14, and something that looked big and scary was starting to take shape. She looked at it and said, “You are not allowed here. Go away.” It did, and she never saw them again.

Why this? Why now?

Because I am having another nightmare. Another serial nightmare. I’m calling it “The Mirrored Me.” And I’m hoping to bring it to an end – quickly.

The first dream – that I clearly remember – was one of those “You think you are awake but you are still sleeping” dreams. In the dream, I woke up, and had to pee. That’s not unusual. So, I go to the bathroom, turn on the light, pee, and wash my hands. Something in the mirror catches my eye, so I look up. But it’s only me. But, wait….my face looks….strange…not quite right. I lean a little closer, turning my face from side to side, trying to figure it out. But I can’t quite put my finger on it…. Puzzled, I just sorta stare……

And the Me in the mirror, grins an evil grin at me.

I woke the fuck up.

I know I’ve had a few since – but I don’t remember the details. It had been awhile… until the other night.

Again, I’m awake, and I gotta pee. I get up, go to the bathroom, turn the light on, pee, and wash my hands. I decide (why, I don’t know) to brush my teeth. While I am brushing my teeth, I get that Deja-Vu feeling, and (I don’t know why) I begin to brush faster. Faster, and faster – trying to trip “her” up – but she’s keeping up – of course! Because it is only a reflection, right? Brush, brush, faster, faster, switch hands, brus-

She didn’t switch hands. She put the fucking brush down and started reaching towards me.

I woke the fuck up.

I have been sleeping on the couch the last two nights. I’m having the priest over this weekend to bless the house.

Send all the good stuff you can my way. …

7 comments:

mssolitaire said...

Honey!!! If you need a teddy bear, let me know! (it always works for me!)

I'll send over my positive thoughts!

Adrian said...

That's crazy. When I was a kid I saw a small shadow devil skipping across the hall in the middle of the night, and it's hard to imagine it was a dream, even as an adult.

Do not read H.P. Lovecraft, who discussed these topics. He talks about a dream world that he has tried to explore but ends up awakening an ancient evil.

lime said...

stronger is he who is in you than he who is in the world.

prayers coming your way.

Flash said...

I did a post on this on my site a while ago. Through Martial arts and relaxation, I've actually learned how to pull myself in and out of dreams. And I have the power to pull them in certain directions. Not "control" them, but just get it where I have a bit of control.

Also, if you need an official "bed Guaridan", let me know, my services are for hire ;)

airplanejayne said...

adrian - I think it's even more scary as an adult....

lime -- thanks sweetie....funny thing is that the bit you shared is exactly what I've been praying.

flash - bed guardian...::shiver:: and you're finally legal...

sol - I think I found a flashy bear. It's a Chicago bear -- does that count?

Diesel said...

Wow, those are some scary dreams. I have a lot of weird dreams, but mine are more strange than scary. I remember having a dream as a child where I was walking through our house and I saw wolves lurking behind the furniture. I told my dad, who said, with determined conviction, "Well, we'll have to blow up the attic." For some reason, that was very reassuring.

I'll pray for you.

Cosima said...

Yikes! I feel for you. I don't get bad dreams very often, but when I get them they tend to be very bad.

Hope you can scare them away soon!