Monday, April 03, 2006

Step right up! Make a Pitch!

As you all are aware, I have been out of the dating pool/pond/puddle/drop for a couple decades (egad), and am somewhat rusty/dusty/cobwebby. Being somewhat clueless (okay, you're right: downright blind and oblivious), I appreciate all the offers of help -- including Jade's offer of drawing a map. But, I decided to put my business hat on. Hmmmmm, what would a Fortune 500 company do? Well, they would hire some consultant, who would come up with a fancy schmancy ad campaign, complete with some catchy slogan. --hey! Maybe I just need a slogan! Lucky for me, Lelly blogged about a fantastic site that would design a slogan specifically for you. For Free!!! HOW PERFECT IS THAT!?!?!?!? So, I typed in are the top 10 slogans for APj (and 2 more that didn't quite make the Top 10...)

12. My Anti-Drug is Airplanejayne.
Okay, those of you who know me, now see why they didn't let me use drugs often......way too scary!!!!
11. Everything We Do is Driven by Airplanejayne.
Hmmmmm.....very close to current motto: "It's All About Me!" so, it didn't make the Top Ten!
10. Devon Knows How They Make Airplanejayne So Creamy.
Huh? Devon doesn't know that. Shoot! Devon doesn't even blog. Devon won't even know what it is she can't possibly know unless some Rogue tells her it's on the blog...
9. Don't be an Amber Airplanejayne.
Now wait a minute. Amber is Amber. APj is APj. Although, let's face it: if APj could look like Amber.....
8. Why Have Cotton When You Can Have Airplanejayne?
Now this is more like it! But seriously, why have cotton at all?
7. Airplanejayne: The Other White Meat.
Uhhhhhh, heading into dangerous territory....
6. Making Airplanejayne Taste Better.
Okay, time to turn 180 degrees!
5. Silly Rabbit, Airplanejayne is for Kids.
Oops! turned too far! Setting the record straight: APj is NOT one of THOSE kinds of teachers.
4. Great Airplanejayne. Great Times.
Now this is more like it! Yup, yup, yup! always a great time!!
3. I Like the Airplanejayne in You.
(in my best Mae West: "Yeah, but I'd prefer You in the Airplanejayne!"
2. Nobody Does It Like Airplanejayne.
I really like this one! So please, let's not remember the rusty/dusty/cobwebby remark above--


1. Get the Airplanejayne Habit.


Solitaire said...

I love it! LOL!

I may have to tell Devon and Amber though... too funny!

Lelly said...

Oh cool...I love it when you link my site! the Devon reference is to an ad for ready-made custard (Devon being a rural county in SW England which is 'famed' for its creamy milk)...oh, but you probably knew that, eh?!

Mustang said...

If I may...

APJ...everything else is second best.

APJ is Job #1

Things do go better with APJ..

Red Hot APJ..make your mouth happy!

Signed nude photo of Sandra Bullock - $25,000
A pair of Penolope Cruz's undies - $18,000
Being seen for 15 minutes with APJ - Priceless

APJ - Just Do It..


airplanejayne said...

okay -- still having way too much fun here....

Go On, Get Your Solitaire Out!

The Loudest Noise Comes From The Electric Kien.

Maybe She's Born With It, Maybe It's Lecram.

3-in-1 Protection for your Scary Squirrel Man.

Nothing Comes Between Me And My Jade Ed Gypsy.

A Dr. O's Too Wet Without One.

I am Stuck on Mustang, 'Cause Mustang's Stuck on Me.

....okay.....I think I'm done now....


jade ed girl said...

Damnit Jayne! You just made me laugh so hard that hazelnut coffee came out my nose!

I was thinkin'...since it's been so long... maybe I should draw two maps...


Solitaire said...

Those are great! I Have a list that I'm trying to get down to 10 and I'll probably post it when I stop ranting about baseball...


scarysquirrelman said...

scarysquirrelman need no protection. ssm IS white meat no matter what place it finish. devon not custard, devon mean-ass school teacher. mustang not horse, mustang very hairy displaced yeti. airplanejane not not on market, apj IS market...with fortune cookie.

Anonymous said...


Ms Bees Knees said...

i want the the airplanejayne habit! i've always wanted a jayne's addiction. *clap clap clap* thank you, ill be here all week!

Anne said...

That was a very cute post!

jade ed girl said...

Hey APj- I think there's somethin wrong with yer Lelly link.

lime said...

um, word of advice, oin the dating scene #5 coudl get ya arrested! eeek! fun post though!