Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Here I go....again!

Ten Top Trivia Tips about APj!

  1. If your ear itches, this means that someone is talking about APj!
  2. The average duration of sexual intercourse for APj is two minutes.
  3. Some people in Malaysia bathe their babies in beer to protect them from APj.
  4. APj will often glow under UV light!
  5. American Airlines saved forty thousand dollars a year by eliminating APj from each salad served in first class.
  6. APj is the oldest playable musical instrument in the world.
  7. APj was originally called Cheerioats.
  8. APj is black with white stripes, not white with black stripes!
  9. It is impossible to fold APj more than seven times.
  10. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are APj.

1. Are you scratching your ear? Stop talking about me! Still scratching?

2. This is so must first be STARTED before there can be any DURATION!

3. Kien? Marcel? Care to shed any light on this one?

4. & 6. Hey. Play the right notes on said instrument and I can guarantee glow - UV light or not!

5. Frick American Airlines. and Frick First class while we're at it.

7. Wrong, again. I was originally called SuperSugarSmacks.

8. Not stripped -- err I mean STRIPED at all. Geez -- where do they get this info? STAR Magazine!?!?!?

9. Trust me. You'd be lucky to get her folded twice, let alone seven times. And why would we want to fold her seven times!?!?

10. This is just an outright, blatant lie. If I was doing this much dating, I probably could be folded seven times.....


RACHEL said...

You always make me smile. Thanks for the ear and words tonight. Insight helpful! I see so much better. Yaaa!

Jodes said...

very interesting!!!

Lelly said...

Highly tatifilarious APj...and of COURSE I played too! :)

lecram sinun said...

2 minutes.... hmmm...

airplanejayne said...

Lecram -
please ignore the 2 minute drill....I need an answer about the Malaysian babies!!!

lime said...

2 minutes is just so wrong on so many levels. hell the first kiss alone ought to last that long....sheesh.

and i do hope lecram will expand a bit. is this one of the lies his father told?? inqi=uiring minds want to know.

Lacquer, Semi-Gloss Lacquer said...

From the Help Desk.
RE: comments APJ

1. what does it mean when my nose itches?

2. decorum will not allow this to be remarked upon.
-however, decorum has just stepped out of the room.
Damn shame, am praying that such things improve,,,and not up to 3:05, either, we're hoping for a YES album side here... Heck, a whole boxed set... (with outtakes. and roadie interviews... okay, maybe we'll leave the roadies out of this... besides, it was only that one time, at bandcamp...)

3. ..well, at least they'll smell better than baby lotion...(yuck)
(keeps Baptists from swiping them too..)

4. Her smile glows even in darkness.
(dang, I don't play any instruments... but if you want to get to Carnegie Hall, you need to practice...
(and what does that say about the rockettes over at radio city?) strange comment.

5. ...the poor thing insists on jumping out of perfectly good (yes, they are, you know they are..) airplanes... I mean, put her in,,, hold her down for a few minutes, and -floop- out she goes... It's like taking a cat for a ride on a bicycle next to the dogpound... (thank god she doesn't do this on trains...)

6. I do not know her age, but lets just say that she's holding gracefully at 29... (okay, 31 in certain light.)

7. ?
I'm a scrambled eggs and kielbasa with monterey jack, hot sauce and ketchup (with a side of carroway rye, butter and orange marmelade,) myself. (perhaps one of those really cool Hmong donuts, (the kind to insure drowning if swum after eating half of one..)
-(can also sub in sausage and add grits.)
melons aren't bad either...
(...oh dear god, I didn't mean it like that... get your mind out of the produce section, right now...)

8. ...well, I'd put some Irish in there, perhaps a little native american, but beyond that
-quick,(somebody call the mormons, they keep genaeology records...)

9. I keep thinking this a bar trick, but she doesn't seem to be that kind of girl...
(but with the right kind of music... who knows?)
I once wore parachute pants and dressed like sting, (and did not have the flanks for it, lemme tell ya.)

10. Well thank god for that...
---Still it means another 65percent are a huge guy in his boxers in a studio apartment with 26 cats, and a lot of back hair named 'Phil,'
--also is in touch with his feminine side,-once in a while goes by 'Amber,' -a 14 year old on myspace,
--who I don't wish to be'friend'
--AND CERTAINLY DON'T WANT TO SEE ON CAM... list,, I think the Dutch had a hand in this...

Solitaire said...

LMAO! That's great!

Oy! Sorry I missed the meat burning on the 4th... it was ruckus!

Hope to see ya soon! Happy Friday!

Anonymous said...

babies bathed in beer! Must be non-Malay babies for religious reasons...... I wasn't bathed in beer... more like perspiration!