26...

I have a good friend who does a "grateful" list. He starts with the letter "A" and goes through the alphabet. I love this idea -- but I've enough lists in my life.....so....without further ado....here is my interpretation (thank you, kien).

I am grateful for.....

All my friends
Because even when I’m acting
Crazy, they seem willing to
Do whatever is needed to
Ensure my wellbeing.

For an infinite
God that reveals
Himself to the finite me in a way that
I can understand, even though He knows
Jayne will constantly question.

Knowing that being alone is not always
Lonely. And that
Meaningful relationships are a
Necessity
Of Life.

Promises kept
Queries answered, illusions maintained,

Revealed or
Shattered.

Truth and honesty, so often
Unusual and uncommon, becoming
Visible to the naked
World.
Xciting?
Yes. Thank you, Lord, a
Zillion times, Amen

Feeling a little green...

Vocal chords are a bust (again)--so I am being silent (again, as much as possible).

But who better than Kermie to turn my greens into lovely colors?

"I've heard it too many times to ignore it,
there's something that I'm s'pose to be..."

I. Still. Love. This. Song.

Happily Insane

I received this in an email.....and can't help but add my comments(purple), and pass it on..

Subject: How to Keep a Healthy Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.this would be fun to do from a motorcycle. Kowboi? Do ya' still have one?

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that....err....I have actually done this one.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it 'In'. When I worked in an office, I put referred to the garbage can as "The Round File." When the boss asked for something that I couldn't find, I would say, "It must be in the Round File." I don't know if he ever caught on...

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Smuggling Diamonds'. I once wrote,"For really great sex!" I was sure I would hear from the bank or I.R.S.

7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. Eddie Izzard said (and I agree) that wars would be almost impossible if we required soldiers to skip instead of march...

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. Hey! They asked me once if it was for here or to go. I said,"Here, of course!"

12. Sing Along At The Opera. Yeah, right. Like I know Italian.....I usually launch into the chorus of "The Lonely Goatherd."

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because
You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. I'd rather use my Superhero name: Flame Glider or Wind Pirate.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' At the atm down from Starline I screamed, "Jackpot!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' heheheheheheh.....

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' I only have one....and she doesn't believe me when I tell her that I'm going to adopt Romanian babies. But my mom had a good one: when we used to threaten to run away she would respond, "Don't bother. I'll go."

Gotta love my Mom,eh?

:)

Sometimes Carma just bites....

bad,bad, kfarmer...... I thought we were friends.....buds......that you would do this to me-- "Do what, APj?" Yes,yes, I can hear that sweet,blonde,southern drawl --all sugary and syrupy.... But....I KNOW it was you...

YOU put Murphy on a plane:

3:10 PM
You'd think that as often as he stays, I'd have heard the snicker from the peanut gallery at the back of my classroom Friday afternoon. "I've got to go!" I inform my computer, which was refusing to power down without updating. "I'm driving to S.F. to see Superman Steve's show."

3:30 PM
I rose triumphantly as the computer finally went to sleep,but somehow, Murphy got into the phone lines.
::ring! ring!::
"This is Ms.Day"
"This is Mr. Bebopaloo Lou, you have my son Bebop Jr. in your class....."
Suffice to say, that Bebop Sr. did not believe that Bebop Jr. (and Murphy,of course) was anything other than angelic in class.

3:45 PM
I make a mad dash to the car, and inform Steve that I am on my way. Steve informs me that Murphy has shot down his attempted manipulations of matchmaking. Starting to suspect that Murphy is loitering somewhere, I peel out of the parking lot, northbound!

4:20 PM
somewhere south of Merced
"Okay, if traffic stays like this, I should be okay. It'll be close, but I'll be okay," I reassure the steering wheel, "Ha! Murphy thought he could--"

::note to audience and self: Never directly challenge Murphy. It pisses him off. Kinda like saying, "Candyman" three times in the dark to the bathroom mirror::

"Shit!" I scream and swerve at the same time. "WTF!?!?!? Looks like someone lost a toolbox on the freeway. Yeah, yeah, NOW we all slow down...." So we putz along for a bit....I call Steve and tell him about the slowdown--but STILL feeling okay.....until.....

4:23 PM(ish)
thumpthump.....thumpthump....
shit.
flatfuckingtireomigawdwhatthefuckdoIdonowshitdamn
Ifuckingdontbelievemyfuckingluckwhatisnextadamntree!?!?

4:30 PM
I call Steve to let him know the score:
APj:zero Murphy: Ten

4:45 PM
Tire off,spare on. Kinda like wax on, wax off. Only a whole lot more elbow grease, Mr.Miasayki.
4:50 PM
Lugs all tight, putting tire with bigass nail in the trunk.
"Hey miss?" offers a businesslookingman from his airconditioned Lexus, "can I call someone for you?"

"Nope. Done. But can you give my friend Murphy a ride? He's going west. Due west"

Steve, sorry I didn't make the show. But I'm sure Murphy would have blown something.....really...

Thanks, Joy, for letting me know how/where to find out
What type of Fae are you?

Okay.....I am SO-O-O-O okay with being called a Nymph that I will overlook any insinuations of my manipulative
hey-did you ever notice that "man" is in that word?
--manipulative side.

and geez....tie ONE guy up ONE time and ya' get saddled
(heh-heh, that's a nice picture)
with that whole "possessive" handle...

A Very Difficult Day

I teach Language Arts, 7th grade.

I always love my job....but some days are tougher than others.

Many of my kids come from a pretty rough background -- often, our school, my classroom, is their "safe" spot. I know this. But some days I'm socked in the jaw with it.

This is how one of my students spent her weekend: crawling out a bedroom window and frantically dialing 9-1-1. Mom had been afraid that something like this was going to happen. She had her brother come stay with them because she was afraid. She had gotten a restraining order because-- yes, she was afraid.
My student will not be coming back to my class, because the only family left does not live in Fresno. She and her siblings are without a mom and an uncle.

Dear God,
Sometimes I forget how difficult and scary many of my kids have it--until something like this happens. Theirs' can be a hard, brutal world. Please hold them close in your hand.
Amen

Hot Handyman Needed!

See, I've yet to find a fix-it project that I won't at least try to tackle: build horse stall. check. Install metal roofing on said stall. check. Chop down trees. check. Fix sprinklers. check. Install ceiling fan. check. Install new light fixtures. double check. So it shoulda been no big deal to re-wire three outlet plugs, a switch, and a light fixture in my spare bedroom, right?
Ha. A week and a half later, and I still couldn't figure out why all the plugs and the light worked in the bedroom, but the bathroom was dark, and the microwave was asleep. WHO THE FRICK DID THE WIRING ON THIS PLACE!?!?!?!? So....I had to bite the bullet (does not taste like chicken), and call a professional:
"Jim!"
"Jayne"
"Jim! I need you! A wire has gone askew, and I don't know what to do"
"I'll be there in the morning...."

Easy fix- wire not in far enough......
'nuff said.....

Jim made the suggestion that I give up on looking for a cabana boy, and find me a hot studly carpenter. I found one:




Carter, from the TV show,"Trading Spaces."

I don't think there would be any wire problems there.....